Chapter 9
Damn. He hates that she's right.
Stefan paces the expanse of his study as he replays the last few days. What the hell is he doing with her anyway? She is trouble, much more than she is worth. And he warned himself of that the moment she came to him pleading for help. But somehow he ended up tangling with her anyway.
It was when he kissed her back that first time that he'd found himself on that slippery slope of lust. And slippery it was; the next thing he knew he had ravaged her on the floor. The only consolation was that he'd had the presence of mind to push her as far away as possible afterward. It had been cruel but necessary. She didn't need the emotional entanglement any more than he did.
His resolve not to touch her again had lasted all of two days. If she hadn't called a halt to the kiss, he's fairly certain he would have slept with her then. Then he'd pushed her away, hurting her pride.
But ever since he'd kept finding excuses to touch her.. fighting urges to kiss her. And then today, he stopped resisting the urge.
What angers him most isn't that he touched her again, it's the fact that he hadn't thought ahead to the consequences. The last time he made that mistake he had ended up in that ridiculous relationship with Katherine. The mere thought of that disaster makes him shudder.
Stefan's mind flicks to their time in the study this afternoon. Carly had looked so beguiling, her legs curled up underneath her in that large overstuffed chair. Lust for her was addling his brain.
It was time to channel it before it got the better of him. Tonight...it would be resolved tonight.
Carly lay on her bed, the tears of humiliation shed, and depression in full swing. God, had she really told him AGAIN that she wanted him? Thankfully she hadn't given him a chance to scoff at her once more. His disdain was ten times worse that Jason's goodnatured rejection. In the history of her life, she'd never handled disdain well.. usually she attacked with both barrels. But given that it isn't an option, her only other recourse was to take off. Pathetic, but preferable to the alternative.
She looks at her watch. Damn it, she really didn't want to face him again so soon. Grabbing the pillow and hugging it against her stomach, Carly decides to skip what's scheduled for the rest of the afternoon. If Stefan didn't like it.. too damn bad. He shouldn't have kissed her then. She closes her eyes, letting herself drift off to sleep.
Michael, another dream about Michael. The more Carly fought thinking of him when she was awake, the more he visited her in her dreams. Cradling the small snapshot she has of him, she starts to cry again. Tears from the deepest part of her soul.
The tears are spilled quickly, leaving her temporarily limp on her bed. God, what kind of mess did she get herself into? Alone, no family of her own, save a boy she probably won't see again. Living with a man who at best tolerated her and definitely delighted in tormenting her. Boy she wished she still had her mama.
With a final sniff, Carly impulsively picks up the receiver from the bedside phone. Dialing a local number, she waits a few rings until she hears Bobbie answer the phone. "Ma.. I mean, Bobbie? It's Carly."
"You have a LOT of nerve calling me, you lying Bitch," Bobbie snarls.
"Bobbie, come on. You have to believe me," Carly pleads through fresh tears. "I honestly didn't know. I believed Peyser, just like you. He came to me and said I was your daughter. I was duped too. How was I to know..."
"Shut up!" Bobbie snaps back. "Just shut your mouth or I'm going to hang up on you right now. I can't stomach another one of your lies!"
"All right, all right! I'm sorry." Carly cringes.
"The only reason I haven't hung up on you yet is because I didn't get a chance before to tell you what a sick twisted piece of work you are! You made me believe I was your mother after you stole my husband away from me. Then you present me with a grandson I adored on sight. I loved that little boy and I even went so far as to open my heart to you. I took you into my home! You toyed with my heart and you broke it. Everything and everyone you touch you destroy."
"Mama!" Carly says with her voice cracking.
"Don't you DARE ever say that word to me again! I have no daughter. She died in a car accident and you took over her life. HER family!"
Carly sensing that Bobbie is going to hang up, yells,"Don't hang up!"
"Tell me one good reason I shouldn't."
"Because I have to know whether it's safe for me. I know Luke tells you things. I want to see Michael, I HAVE to see Michael. Even if it's just a glimpse."
"The LAST thing that poor little boy needs is to see his psychopathic mother! Thank God the courts saw you for the conniving little bitch you are." Pacing the floor of the brownstone, Bobbie continues to spew venom. "Don't ever come back, Caroline. NEVER. Where ever you are, STAY THERE. There isn't a person in this town who ever wants to see you again. Sonny and Jason, they'll have you shot on sight. If you can't stay away for yourself, stay away for your son. The only thing worse than seeing you again, would be if you were dead. For me, I don't care, but I wouldn't' wish that on Michael."
"Oh God, oh God..." Carly sits still as death on the bed, tears slipping down her face, with no attempt from her to stop them.
"You reap what you sow, Sister." Carly doesn't even hear Bobbie slam down the phone.
After a long moment, the phone receiver slips from her hand onto the bed. Snippets of memories flash through her mind, each one worse than the last. The blinding flashes of camera flashbulbs as press vultures took pictures of her outside the courtroom; Tony smirking at her after the judge announced that sole custody of Michael went to AJ Quartermaine without maternal visitation rights; and Edward and AJ sneering at her as they told her they would make sure she never saw Michael again. Then Jason in jail, his face set in stone while he coldly informed her he intended to see her dead for what she'd done to him, Sonny, and most of all Michael, by condemning him to a life with the Quartermaines.
And finally Bobbie, the look of horror on her face when Peyser testified on the witness stand during the custody battle, when he told all of Port Charles that he and Carly set up a scam for Bobbie to believe she was Caroline Benson's birth mother. That in fact, Caroline Benson was no blood relation to the Spencers at all. Carly had tried to convince Bobbie that Peyser was lying, but Bobbie said nothing, proceeding to get up and walk out of the courtroom. That night, Luke Spencer had paid a menacing visit. "Get out of town, Little Girl, before I decide to kill you myself..."
Devastated by the memories, and feeling the walls close in on her, Carly jumps to her feet and flies out of the room.
Stefan looks at his watch for the fourth time. Where is she? They had made so much progress in the last week. A shame to have her regressing so dramatically. Tai Chi is going better than he ever anticipated. Carly had been a quick study with business, surpassing his expectations there as well. And he's finally made a decision to take her as his mistress. All that remains is convincing her that the arrangement is to her benefit.
This lapse is odd considering that he's gotten very good at catching her signals and pulling in the reins when she is in danger of losing ground. Their kiss, while upsetting to her, shouldn't be the cause for such melodramatic behavior. He expected her to retreat for the afternoon to lick her wounds, but to extend this into the evening? He can't allow it.
Stefan looks at his watch again. He doesn't have patience to wait her out any longer. Mrs Lansbury is serving dinner and he's anxious to settle things between them. Just at the moment he's resolved to seek her out, his phone rings. "Yes, Jenson, what is it? WHAT? He is missing from his stall?! Have Secur--" Looking out of the window, he sees his new stallion streak by with Carly on his back heading for the east part of the island. "On second thought, security isn't necessary, I know exactly where he's gone. Saddle up my horse immediately... Do NOT question my decision. JUST DO IT!" Slamming down the phone, Stefan takes off for the stables.
Minutes later, Stefan is in hot pursuit of Carly and the new Arabian. About a half mile down the path, Stefan stomach lurches as he catches sight of Carly laying flat on her back in the grass. The stallion is nowhere in sight. Pulling his stallion in to stop near Carly, Stefan leaps to the ground next to her. "Caroline!" Frantically he grabs her head, pressing his cheek against her lips to feel for her breathing.
The next second, Carly is pushing his hands off and struggling to get up. "Get off me!" Carly hisses.
Stefan responds by holding her shoulders down firmly. "Absolutely not! You must lie still, you may be hurt. You fool! You could have killed yourself on that wild animal! What were you thinking?!"
Carly bucks violently, knocking Stefan's unsuspecting hands away, then pushing him off balance and onto the ground on his butt. "None of your damn business! If I kill myself, it's not like anyone is gong to care. Least of all, you!"
Somehow Stefan maintains a hold on one of Carly's arms when he falls, and when she's prevented from rising yet again, Carly goes on the attack, throwing punches and kicks wildly at Stefan. Completely bewildered and unprepared for the violent assault, Stefan is left blocking the attack, but not before she lands a mean right hook that snaps his head back. "Caroline! Get a hold of yourself!" He bellows while desperately parrying blows.
"No, you Bastard!" Carly yells back, so out of control, she jumps on top of him. She lets months and months of grief and anger spew out on Stefan. "I'm sick and tired of you and everyone else abusing me! You can all go to HELL!"
Chapter 10
In a fluid motion, Stefan rolls her onto her back and pins her hands above her head. Breathing heavily with a trickle of blood from his split lip, Stefan roars again, "For the last time, Caroline. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"
Carly struggles fiercely, but is no match for Stefan's superior strength and weight. When she tries to kick him, he quickly pins her legs with his. Frustrated that her latest attempt at freedom has failed, Carly spouts venom, "Let me GO! I hate you, you sanctimonious control freak!"
"Stop this ridiculous display, Caroline! Nothing that has occurred between us is grounds for such outrageous behavior!"
Carly laughs hysterically, sounding totally unglued. "You think this is about you? HA! You really are an egomaniac. There are guys I thought were worth dying for, but you, mister, are not one of them!" As she tires, the anger dissolves and her eyes fill with tears.
Stefan demeanor changes to fear at the realization he has no idea what is going on. "What is this about?! Caroline, what has happened? You must tell me!"
Carly crumples completely, choking with sobs. "I... I ca... called my .. Bobbie. Sh.. She ha.. hates me! She totally and completely despises me. What am I going to do without my Mama?"
Stefan releases Carly and pulls her into his lap on the ground, pressing her head tightly against his heart and rocking her. "Caroline... dear lord.... I'm so sorry."
"What am I going to do?" Carly's body trembles with the force of her despair. "I have nothing, NOTHING. No family, no future, no hope... nothing. I don't even deserve to call Michael my son!"
Much later, Carly is wrapped in a blanket on the sofa After her emotional scene with Stefan on the eastern trail, she had pulled herself together enough to walk back to Wyndemere on her own steam. But once inside, her body had begun trembling violently to the point that she had trouble maintaining her balance. Whether is was from the cold, the fall, or the emotional upheaval, it was impossible to tell. Stefan had quickly carried her into the living room and wrapped her in the blanket. Now she was waiting for him to return with a tray of tea.
She feels strangely numb, considering everything that has happened. She isn't even completely sure she still has feet, although she remembers using them to get back to Wyndemere. Everything in the room seems surreal, like she's looking at it through a warped window, and it's giving her a headache. Carly closes her eyes in hopes of blocking it out, and realizes too late that it's even worse with her eyes closed. The rooms spins and she feels like she's falling. Opening her eyes, she sees Stefan standing before her, his brow furrowed in concern. She smiles weakly. "Hi."
"You appear to be ill. Are you certain you didn't lose consciousness?" Stefan reaches toward her to check her pupils but retreats when she flinches.
"No, just... " Carly swallows painfully, pausing long enough to be sure what comes out makes sense. The whole idea of talking scares her because if the words coming out of her mouth are anything like what's going on with her brain, she runs the risk of Stefan calling the nearest psych hospital to have her admitted. "I just got the wind knocked out of me. My head didn't even hit the ground. It's just the... the stress of the d.. day."
After Carly agrees to drink some tea, Stefan pours her a cup and hands it to her. She reaches out a trembling hand to take it and almost knocks it in Stefan's lap. Tears threaten and she lowers her head and bites her lip to keep from crying. "I.. I'm sorry."
Stefan gently takes her shaking hands and wraps them around the warm cup, then guides it up to her lips. Carly sips, savoring the hot sweet liquid as it trails down her throat. Stefan adds his calming voice. "Take small sips at first. Yes, that's it."
Gradually, as she drains the cup, the panic recedes, and with each breath she breathes more easily. Looking up at him gratefully, Carly murmurs, "Thank you." Noticing his bruised lip for the first time, she grimaces. "I did that, didn't I?"
"Inconsequential," he says without hesitation. "I am more concerned with the risk you took riding the new Arabian. He is not yet broken, and in your haste you didn't put on a helmet."
Carly accepts more tea as he pours it. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I really didn't care what happened to me." She stops short of telling him she's not sure it's any different now.
"And that is what concerns me most," Stefan retorts. "You must promise me you will never be so reckless again, regardless of how upset you become. Otherwise I can't trust you to ride alone. I would hate to restrict your riding when it obviously gives you such pleasure."
Carly rewards him a small smile, realizing the genuine concern under his stern manner. "I promise never to go riding without a helmet again, girl scout's honor." She had half expected him to be more upset at the possibility of the Arabian getting hurt, but he hadn't said anything, except to call the groom to retrieve the horse.
"Then we will consider the matter resolved." Stefan, noting that her hands have stopped trembling, lifts a bowl of soup from the tea tray and offers it to her. "Mrs Lansbury thought soup might be welcome since we missed dinner."
Carly's stomach lurches at the savory smell of the chicken soup. "No.. no thanks," She says with a shake of her head. "You're being very sweet, looking after me, but I'm okay really. I'm just so exhausted." Carly rises to her feet.
Stefan rises with her. "Caroline, I want you to give serious thought to what I am about to say. You have hit a low point today, where everything you believe about yourself has been called into question This may be the time for you to remake yourself. You have a talent for turning yourself into anything you desire, into anything that is expected of you. That chameleon quality can be of use to you now."
Carly runs a tired hand through her stringy hair. "Yeah, you say chameleon, but I've been accused of being manipulative and play acting."
"You and I both know acting the part is crucial to any new behavior becoming real," Stefan counters smoothly. "Do you think I've always been this man? That I always wore dark suits, ran Cassadine Inc, and had the power to make people cower with a mere glare? I assure you, before Nikolas was born, I was very different than I am now."
"You mean you were normal?" Carly jokes, but can't help being intrigued despite herself.
"No reason to insult me with such an accusation, Caroline," Stefan quips, his rare humor surfacing for a moment. "In all seriousness, before my metamorphosis, I wore white almost exclusively, as a way to set myself apart from my family." He watches with amusement as a stunned look crosses her face. "Some said I was a poetic sensitive soul, but many believed me weak. You see, I had no interest in my family's brutal way of gaining power, and my family made it their life's pleasure humiliating me for being different. Until Nikolas was born, it didn't matter to me. Now, as a matter of necessity, I've recreated myself into someone to be obeyed and feared."
"I had no idea." Carly has always figured there was more to him, but what she had no idea.
Stefan redirects the conversation, pleased that his revelation has it's desired affect. "I have researched you as Caroline Benson, as Carly Roberts, and as the dozen or more other aliases you've had over the years. All of which you have used to hide who you are. Perhaps now that you have a child, a child who desperately needs you, it is time to introduce the world to Caroline Spencer, to shape yourself into a person Michael would be proud to have as his mother:"
"I'm not a Spencer," Carly retorts bitterly. "Peyser took that away from me."
"Very well, you aren't a Spencer," Stefan demurs, deciding not to press her further. "Then perhaps it's time for you to decide what Caroline should be, rather that allowing others to define you, or hiding behind another's mask."
"I don't know who Caroline should be," Carly answers, rubbing her temples. "This conversation is giving me a headache."
"Then we should table further discussion for when you're rested," Stefan says gently. He offers her his arm. "I think it is prudent for me to help you to your room, since you are still unsteady."
Carly takes his arm without argument and they walk up the steps to her room.
The next day
"Dr Vader, thank you for returning my call so quickly. What did you find out?" Stefan fiddles with a file on his desk as he listens, frowning with disappointment at doctor's answer. "I'm afraid that is not adequate burden of proof... if you were provided with fresh samples from both parties, I take it that would be sufficient to run the necessary battery of tests and get the unequivocal proof I require?" Stefan smiles at the answer. "Excellent. In that case, I would like you set up a blood drive at General Hospital and I will make the necessary arrangements...."
|