Chapter 82
General Hospital Emergency Room.
Diane Reardon, a clipboard in hand, meets Kevin in the hallway as
he's walking out of Helena's examination room. "Hi Diane! How did
you get pulled into this? This isn't your usual beat." His smile
is warm and friendly.
"I was in court with a patient of mine and I witnessed Mrs
Cassadine's eruption." She hands him a document. "So I volunteered
to accompany Mrs Cassadine to the hospital. Here's my affidavit."
Kevin glances over it briefly and nods before leading her to his
office down the hall. "Thanks, this will help. I just finished a
very lengthy examination of Helena. Her presentation is
remarkable. She has to be one of the most manipulative, most
intelligent, most frightening women I have ever come in contact
with. It was as if she was trying to find a way to hook me, to
gain my sympathy, my cooperation. But what is most astounding,
given the situation, was how lucid she was during our
conversation. Given her violent outburst at court, I wouldn't
think it was possible for her to be so in control of herself.
There was no evidence of delusions or hallucinations. In fact, she
quickly took control of our conversation with the express purpose
of convincing me that she's merely a grieving mother. Given her
presentation and her ability to compensate on a dime, I'd say it's
going to be incredibly challenging to hold her beyond the first
few days."
Diane's eyes go wide. "Really? After the scene she pulled in the
courtroom, I expected she would still be raving. And that she
would be looking at a long term commitment to a psych hospital."
"Well, here is the intriguing thing about all of this..." Kevin
confides as he unlocks the door to his office and pushes it open.
He stands aside to let Diane in first. "According to the history
in this case, Luke Spencer did in fact kill her son... here's the
catch ... almost twenty years ago. Apparently, during a violent
altercation with Luke Spencer, Stavros fell down a flight of steps
and broke his neck. His death was ruled but Helena's always held
Luke and Laura Spencer responsible. Helena's other son
corroborated the facts."
"So she wasn't experiencing a delusion, really," Diane murmurs
thoughtfully.
"My initial impression is that something Luke said in the
courtroom triggered a flashback to the original event. As you
know, this can happen in more severe cases of Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder." Kevin plops the patient file on his desk as he
explains. "When she first arrived at GH, her despair appeared
genuine. It was as if if she was reliving Stavros's death all over
again." He places the affidavit on top of Helena's patient file
and sits behind his desk.
"So what is the plan now, Kevin?" Diane asks as she takes a seat
across from him. "Is she being admitted to the unit?"
"I'm going to put her on a three day emergency hold and have her
transferred." Kevin pulls out a small packet of forms from his
file cabinet, pulls the cap off his pen and starts filling them in
as he continues to speak. "Stefan Cassadine, the son I spoke of
earlier, has requested she be transferred to Shadybrooke
Psychiatric facility. He believes a placement here wouldn't be
therapeutic, given her history with this hospital. And despite
being seriously tempted to treat her myself, I have to agree with
him. Dr Newlyn has accepted her for placement and she'll be
transferred there in the next hour or so. The rest is up to Dr
Newlyn and the courts."
"I'm not leaving until I've had my say."
Without a word to them, Mrs Lansbury bows out of the room and
closes the door behind her.
Caroline was even more beautiful than Stefan remembered, eyes
glittering with anger and hurt. Standing proud, much like the
woman who barged into his home and demanded he take her in. The
same and yet.. different. Impressive, some might even say
daunting.
Not even a small battle scar to reveal the hell she must have
endured at court. He knew the outcome of course. The information
he surreptitiously sent made it to it's destination and been used
to her advantage. He'd gotten a call an hour before to inform him
that not only had charges had been dismissed, but Evans had been
arrested and his mother was en route to the hospital after an
apparent breakdown. She had not taken the news of her favored
son's demise well at all. Then Kevin had called almost as soon as
he hung up the phone. It was a relief to know that Helena was out
of commission, at least for the moment. And Caroline was free.
The time to dwell on any of those events was not now. He sighs as
he rises to his full height, realizing in an instant he would need
all his wits about him to make it through this confrontation.
Holding himself carefully and erecting a facade of disinterested
annoyance, he addresses her. "Caroline, I can't imagine anything
that would precipitate your return to Wyndemere. We said
everything that needed to be said before you left the last time."
"You mean before you had me 'escorted' to the launch," Carly
retorts, her pride still stinging from the experience. She presses
on, undaunted by his rejection, walking completely into the room.
She takes a quick inventory to his appearance, which is as
impeccable, and impenetrable, as it was the first time she came to
Wyndemere. "I had a rather exciting morning. Some of it involved
your mother."
"If you are referring to the news that she was taken to General
Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation, I have already been
informed. It is certainly the best of possible outcomes. I'm sorry
you wasted your time coming all the way out here to tell me the
news. Enjoy your trip back to the mainland." Stefan starts to sit
down again at his laptop, already dismissing her.
Carly opens her mouth then clamps it shut again, struggling with a
new wave of pain. He's not going to say anything about the fact
that I was almost committed myself!?! He has to know, he makes it
his business to know everything about everybody! Unless... unless
it doesn't matter. Carly pushes that thought out of the way. "You
might have said everything you had to say the day you kicked me
off he island, but I didn't. Nothing is settled, none of it makes
a lick of sense to me! One minute we were hot and heavy, and the
next you were cutting me out of you life like I was nothing to
you."
"It was time I ended our affair so I ended it. There is nothing
more to say."
Carly shakes her head, knocking his callous words away from her.
He won't reduce this to just casual sex, he won't! "No, it has to
be more than that. You're lying. I've gone over every moment we
had together, especially those last few days, to see if I could
find some sort of hint you were unhappy, SOMETHING, to help me
understand why you did what you did. The only thing that comes
close is that nightmare. I pushed you afterwards, to talk to me
about the nightmare. But even that doesn't make sense, because
I've pushed you about it before. So, Why... why did you kick me
out of your life?"
"You don't want the truth, Caroline, " Stefan warns coldly as he
comes around the desk. "But if you push me any farther, I will
tell you exactly why, you and your tender feelings be damned."
"Tell me!" Carly demands. "I'm tired of the lies and evasions!"
Stefan stalks to the liquor cart and pours himself a drink. "You
were boring me, Caroline. For quite some time as a matter of
fact."
"That's just another lie!" Carly snorts, trying to brush it off.
"You practically begged me to come stay the weekend, you even said
you needed me."
"How very typical. You remember what you want to, and when I tell
you something you don't want to believe, you call it a lie."
Stefan sips his drink mildly. "The truth is I planned our breakup,
right down to the long weekend and gift of earrings. I tried to
make it as civilized as possible. I'm not the sort of man who
suffers a long slow decline in an affair. When I'm done, I'm
done."
"Like hell! You would not be so cold, so cruel..." But inside her
guts are twisting. This man in front of her was a stranger. But
wasn't he treating her now the way he treated everyone else? She
thought that with her, he was different. Had it all been an act?
"I do not believe I was cruel at all. In fact, I have been more
than kind and generous in your case. Perhaps you can fault me for
being too generous... indulging your every whim." He spares her a
dismissive glance. "As proof of my kindness, I'll admit I planned
the weekend to allow you time to recover free from the
responsibilities of caring for your son. Knowing how upset you
would be when I broke it off, I attempted to leave you with some
pleasant memories. The earrings I gave you were a token of my
appreciation, a small trinket to thank you for being an
entertaining mistress. Didn't you know that's how I would end
things? Whenever I am done with my mistress I buy her jewelry."
Stefan lifts his shoulder in a casual gesture. "Sell them to pay
your bills, keep them as a memento of our pleasant time together,
it's really your choice."
"You arrogant bastard." Carly fights the urge to literally throw
them at his face. To attack him with her fist and claws, to tear
that urbane bland look off his face. Instead she walks up to him,
grabs his hand and forces the earrings into his palm. "You may
have thought of me as a mistress, but I never accepted that.
Mistresses can be bought. I can't. I was the woman who loved you,
even though you couldn't love me back, who thought if she loved
you enough," She chokes on her words. "You might be able to return
at least a smidgen of those feelings. But I was wrong. My love
wasn't enough."
Her words tear at him more than any physical blow could. That she
gave so freely what he's wanted most in his life. That he finally
loves a woman who loved him in return. But he schools himself not
to show the agony he feels. He could never have her. Helena would
surely destroy her. "I never asked for your love. You knew the
rules. I never lied to you about what I wanted, what was expected.
How it would be between us."
"But you took it anyway, you welcomed my love. You made me believe
I was good enough. You fooled me." Carly lets out a choked sob as
she dashes away the tears on her face. "But I wasn't good enough,
was I? I was just something you played with for a while. Just a
little plaything you amused yourself with. 'Oh, let's help poor
pitiful Carly!' So Mr high and Mighty Stefan Cassadine swooped
down on the poor downtrodden town pariah. Fixed her life up
perfectly. Must have been quite funny when I fell in love with
you. Did you laugh to yourself? Did you think it was funny?"
Her bitter words are like daggers, hearing her twist what happened
between them into something sick and unreal. Maybe he deserves it,
but he can't let that pass. He helped her because he wanted to, he
never saw her as a plaything. His voice becomes low and dangerous,
furious. He's practically vibrating from the intensity. "You came
to me! You came to me for help!"
"I only asked for a place to hide!" Carly screams through her
tears. "I thought Jason and Sonny were going to have me killed.
But I never asked you to take over my life! Damn you, you made me
believe I was different. That I could be something! That I was
special! But I was just a special project. Something to fix, but
beneath you. You didn't want anything real, anything that would
last. Yeah, you didn't lie to me. I lied to myself. I let myself
believe we could have a future. That you were different from the
others..." Carly's rage crumbles. She loved him damn it, and she
meant nothing to him. What was wrong with her that she picked men
who couldn't love her? "The way you took to my son, I thought that
was a sign that what we had was real, that it might just last."
She clings to it, she didn't imagine his interest in her son, she
saw it for herself. What he's telling her has to be a lie.
The anguish in her voice was almost too much for him to bear. But
once she left, she would be free of him. He would kill her love
for him so she could move on. Even if it killed a part of him to
do it. "It is not my fault you were a fool. I never misled you. It
amused me to indulge your son. He is a sweet boy. But it was
nothing more than than polite interest."
My God, it had all been a lie. Her life with him had been a
fantasy, an illusion. He'd fooled her completely. His words may
not have been a lie, but his actions.... She looks at him as if
she's never seen him before. "You became whatever I wanted and
needed. You really are a chameleon. You aren't anything I thought
you were." Her voice cracks. "I never really knew the real you,
did I?"
He'd never wanted to see her disillusionment of him. It was too
much. Turning his back to her, he closes his eyes against the
pain. His voice is a pained whisper. "I didn't ask you to put me
on a pedestal."
"Maybe you didn't." Carly's voice reaches an hysterical pitch.
"But with a wave of your hand, you made all my dreams come true,
like some sort of benevolent God from on high, not a real man. and
maybe, maybe if you hadn't made love to me until my toes curled,
until all I could think of was you and the next time you held me,
maybe I would have left you in that lofty 'god' position. But you
were flesh and blood and heat and passion, you were everything I
wanted in a man. You didn't run when I was wild and crazy. I
thought you understood me as I was."
He didn't know how much he could take and still be standing. He
had to get her to leave. "Why are you tormenting yourself like
this? Have you no pride?"
Carly steps back off-balanced as if he'd actually struck her. Her
voice is a whisper when she answers, as if she has no more
strength. "I guess not.... But I can't keep those earrings and let
them burn a hole in my heart every time I look at them. Because to
me those earrings came from a man who could have loved me, not
from a man trying to buy me off. They are a lie, just like the man
who gave them to me. Good bye, Stefan."
Carly turns and walks out.
Long after the door slams signaling her final exit, Stefan stands
stock still, the earrings clasped in his palm, held so tight they
cut into his skin. His head bows, he opens his hands and gazes at
the earrings. His eyes glaze over with tears, but they don't fall.
"They were from a man who loves you, Caroline. They were." He
brings the earrings to his cheek, feeling the cool stones against
his skin, the last thing she touched before she was gone from his
life. As much proof of his love for her as the fact that he set
her free.
At the Spoon Island dock, Carly stands, a solitary figure, waiting
for the launch to take her back home. Tears stream down her face.
Her arms cover her stomach and the invisible gaping wound in her
gut. She feels like she's dying inside, bleeding to death. She'd
given her all to him, her heart, her soul, everything she had to
give him. And it's all been ripped out of her, leaving her empty
and weak. In shock.
The pain is unbearable, but somehow, some way, it has to be
beared. Michael needs her to be strong. To survive this. Thank God
for her little boy. Thank God for her family waiting for her.
Author note: In many states, including my own and New York State,
there are at least two processes for being committed to a
psychiatric hospital. The one most commonly used is the Emergent
Commitment, which often takes place in an emergency room after a
mental health evaluation. This is the process that was used in
Helena's case. The second is a nonemergent court commitment, which
requires a court hearing and is planned in advance. That was the
process used for Carly.
Chapter 83
Reaching into his crib, Carly pulls her sweet sleepy boy into her
arms, careful not to hold him too tightly. Putting her cheek
against his soft baby cheek, she savors his perfect skin and sweet
scent. He's always so smooshy when he first wakes up from his nap.
This is why she is here. This is why everything mattered this
morning in court.
It is good to be reminded of it just now, in the wake Stefan's
devastating rejection. In the past when she felt like this, before
she had Michael, and even following his birth, it had been easy
for her to lose sight of what was really important. To go off and
do something stupid and impulsive that was sure to blow up her
life later.
The simple truth is that being Michael's mom is the single most
important job in her life. He needed her to be strong and healthy
and most of all... solid and reliable. He needed her to be someone
he could trust.
Maybe it's wrong, certainly the so-called parenting experts would
disapprove, but her son has become the anchor that keeps her from
going off, that keeps her from some bar where she would drink
herself into trouble. Alcohol and indiscriminate sex, those have
always been her choices for self destruction. The very ingredients
that ensured Michael's conception. And while she doesn't regret
for a moment that Michael is alive and hers, she couldn't seek
oblivion that way anymore. And his presence in her home and in her
life, grounded her like nothing else has.
So she had to keep moving forward even when her heart was
breaking. And the crater where her heart used to be was ample
proof of how devastated she really was. Ironically the source of
her heartbreak is the reason she can hold herself together now,
the man who taught her how to get and keep what mattered to her.
Stefan: her mentor, best friend, and love of her life.
Gone.
Michael wriggles and grunts in her arms, making it known he won't
permit her to squeeze him anymore. Grateful for the diversion from
her morose thoughts, she kisses the top of his red head and puts
him on the ground. "Okay, Mister Man, I'm done squishing ya." She
smiles as he toddles unsteadily over to his toy box and pulls out
his favorite bright blue car.
He waves it at her happily, proud of his prize. "CAR!!"
Lowering herself to his level, she walks on her knees to where he
is standing. She runs a hand over his head. "Guess what, Munchkin?
We're going in a car. Just a short trip over to Grandma's. And
you're gonna get to see all your favorite people...."
"Dada?"
"Yep, Dada, and Uncle Luke and Aunt Emily, Grandma," Carly lists
off. "and Uncle Lucas, and even... your father. All of us, all
together. It's gonna be a big party. What do you think of that?"
"Car... " He makes a buzzing sound with his lips and his legs
bounce up and down. "Teesha?"
"Well..." Carly considers with a smile.. "Should we ask her? It
won't be a party without Leticia, would it?"
"TEESHA!"
A few moments later Leticia peeks her head in. "I heard my name,
everything okay in here?"
"Yeah, better than okay," Carly says cheerfully. "Mr Man wants you
to come to our party. We're having it over at my Mama's house
tonight, to celebrate my freedom.... there will be dancing, pizza,
beer. Very casual of course. We want you to come. Bring Reggie if
you want. The more the merrier."
"Sounds like fun," Leticia answers with a enthusiastic smile. "Let
me call him." She disappears down the hall again.
Carly pulls herself up to a stand and offers her hand to Michael.
"Shall we pack up some goodies and take them to Grandma?"
With the favored car tucked under his arm, he puts his pudgy hand
in hers. "Mama."
"Yep, she's my mama." Carly turns out the light in the nursery as
she leads him through the door and down the hall. "So you're gonna
be my date, right? I can't go to the party without a date. You're
gonna dance with me I hope. Mama loves to dance..."
Monica collapses onto the sofa in the Quartermaine living room.
The morning had been a unmitigated disaster. After her
confrontations with Jason and Carly outside the courtroom, she'd
driven aimlessly around Port Charles, not wanting to come home and
face the reality of her life. She couldn't believe it has come to
the point that her children aren't speaking to her.
All because of Carly.
So, hours later, discouraged and with no more insight than she had
when she left court, she turned her car towards home. She half
expected a lynch mob waiting for her when she opened the door, but
no one was about. Could it be they hadn't heard yet?
"Monica," Alan says as he enters the room, as if an answer to her
unspoken question. The sound of his voice, edged with tension, has
her stomach tightening in a knot. If he didn't know now, he'd know
in a few minutes. "You want to tell me why our daughter's room is
empty? I just went up there and her stuff is gone! I asked
Reginald and he told me to ask you or Father. And he looked pretty
ticked off when he said it. What's going on?"
Monica looks up at Alan and her eyes fill with tears. The lump
that feels like the size of a grapefruit lodges in her throat,
making it impossible for her to swallow. This is why she didn't
want to come home. Because then the fact that Emily was gone would
be real. "She moved out..."
Alan sits beside his wife, drawn in by the obvious pain in her
voice. He puts his hand on her back and rubs it gently, comforting
her. His voice is softer, sympathetic. "You want to tell me why?"
"She's.... she angry. Furious actually. " Monica runs her fingers
along the bottom of her eyelids to swipe the tears away. Why.. why
hadn't she told Alan what she and Edward were doing? Why had she
let Edward convince her to keep this a secret? Alan would blame
her now. "There.. there was a court hearing today....."
Alan's hand stops on her back. "A court hearing today? When.. how?
What was the hearing about? This isn't about custody of Michael is
it? I thought AJ and Carly settled everything."
"It wasn't a custody hearing," Monica explains, suddenly overcome
with fatigue. It was hard to say the rest, so very hard. Because,
deep in her heart, she knew it how wrong it was. She closes her
eyes to brace herself for the inevitable explosion. "It was
hearing to get Carly committed to a psychiatric hospital."
"What?! Who set this up? Don't tell me you...."
"No! It's not what you think, Alan!" Monica denies vehemently. "I
did not go looking for this. I'm not a monster! Carly's old
doctor, Dr Evans from Ferncliffe, approached Edward and me. He
said he believed Carly was a danger to Michael! He needed our
help, our testimony to get her committed..."
"So you thought, what the hell... we haven't seen Carly for months
but let's help get her locked up anyway?" Alan recoils from Monica
and stands up. "How could you think this would be good for Michael
to lock his mother up?"
"It would get him away from her, that's how!" Monica shoots back.
"She's unstable, Alan. We've seen that over and over. Look what
she's done to our sons! How could someone who doused AJ with
alcohol and dumped him into a laundry cart, someone who set Jason
up to be arrested, be stable, and good for Michael? I don't need
to see her now to know she'll destroy him, Alan! Just like she
tried to destroy our sons. Hell, AJ is still trying to dig himself
out of the hole she dropped him in! I won't let her do that to a
defenseless boy. I won't!"
"But it's not our place to play God with someone's life, Monica!"
Alan starts pacing, his fury growing by the moment. The scheme
must have been going on for days, and he's just hearing about it
now? "While I find it hard to stomach that you'd be a party to
this, what I find unfathomable is how you could keep this from me!
Why Monica? I'm your husband, the father of your children,
grandfather to Michael, and you kept this a secret from me. Why?!"
"Because I told her to, Alan!" Edward announces from the doorway.
"You're too softhearted to do what needed to be done. I don't
care what that judge says, that girl is unbalanced and will ruin
that little boy if we don't stop her. And AJ is too weak and
foolish to stand up to her."
Alan looks from his father to his wife. "You didn't tell me
because you thought I'd blow the whistle?"
"Would you have?" Edward demands, entering the room.
"You better believe I would have!" Alan explodes. "What you two
did was not just a mistake, it was deplorable! We have no evidence
that Carly is unstable or a danger to Michael. The Child
Psychiatrist who saw Michael and interviewed Carly believed the he
would be well taken care of if he was with his mother. Who are we
to take matters into our own hands after AJ nearly got jailed for
what he did to keep Carly from Michael? What did AJ say about all
of this? Did he agree to this?" Monica and Edward look away. Alan
puts his palm on his forehead and rolls his eyes skyward. "My God.
You didn't even ask AJ, did you?"
"That boy of yours is a fool!" Edward blusters. "He doesn't know
his arse from a hole in the ground. I still cannot believe he was
there to support Carly. He's an embarrassment to this family."
Alan looks from Edward back to Monica. "So this is why Emily moved
out..... She found out about the hearing."
Edward plunks down into one of the winged back chairs, not even
looking at Alan. His words are brave, but his chin quivers.
"She'll be mad for a few days but she'll come to her senses and
come home. She always does. You'll see."
Monica shakes her head, fresh tears filling her eyes. "I don't
know if she'll come back this time, Edward. She was so angry, so
determined."
"Well, I certainly wouldn't come back to this house if I were
her," Alan snaps. "So what happened at the court hearing? Guessing
from your long faces, it didn't turn you the way you wanted."
"That idiot Dr Evans got caught trying to bribe the judge so it
blew up in our faces!" Edward says with a scowl. "We were so close
to having that boy back with us, Alan. And you'd be thanking us if
we had." He points the floor of the home with his finger. "That
boy belongs here and no one is going to convince me different. No
One!"
Alan glowers at his father. "Father, I'm disgusted, but I almost
expect this from you." He turns to his wife and shakes his head in
disappointment. "But Monica, it's your participation I don't
understand. I know you hate Carly and that you can't forgive her
for what she's done to AJ and Jason. I've tried to be supportive
and understanding while you've struggled with your resentment at
being cut from Michael's life. I feel the same pain, how could I
not understand it? But what you've done this time crosses the
line, and it has cost us our daughter. The price of continuing
this feud is too high. I'm can't stand by you in this, I just
can't." With a final shake of his head, he walks out of the room
and slams the door.
Later
Monica is walking out of the dining room when she spies Alan
coming down the stairs with a suitcase in his hand. Her heart
flips. "Alan? Where are you going?"
Alan meets her at the bottom the steps. His voice is grim and
determined. "I'm taking a room at the Port Charles Hotel."
"What?!" Monica panics. "You can't go! I need you, Alan."
"I can't stay here not after what you did today." He puts his
suitcase down to retrieve his overcoat from the closet. "I can't
forgive what you did, not right now anyway. Not when it could have
harmed Michael, not when it cost us Emily."
"You didn't see me walking out on you when you drove Emily out of
the house the last time! I stuck by you! How could you, Alan!"
"The difference is that I didn't try to have a woman committed so
I could take away her child," Alan retorts caustically.
"Oh, so somehow attempting to kill Nikolas isn't as bad as
testifying in court," Monica snipes. "That makes a lot of sense.
Talk about a double standard. Get off your moral high horse, Alan,
before you fall on your face."
"Yeah, I attacked Nikolas," Alan admits as he stuffs his hands
through the sleeves shrugs the coat on. "It wasn't one of my
brightest moments, but what I did was done in the heat of the
moment. What you tried to do to Carly was premeditated. You kept
it a secret from me. And the one that stood to lose the most if
you won, was our grandson, who's not even two years old yet! So
can it, Monica. Our situations do NOT compare."
"So you're going to punish me, is that it?" Monica is incredulous.
"You don't think I've suffered enough, losing all of my kids
today? Carly saw to it that none of my kids will speak to me. "
Alan puts his hand on the door knob and bows his head. His voice
is tired when he replies. "While you go on and on about what Carly
has done to you, you aren't comprehending is what I lost today.
We're a packaged deal, Monica. What you do reflects on me and vice
versa. Carly is even angrier than before, which means I'll be
lucky to see Michael before he's 20. Our kids are going to blame
me for what happened right along with you, and if they don't,
they're going to ask me why I didn't stop you. I can't stand to
live in this house, knowing that Emily's room is empty."
Monica puts her hand on the banister for support as the tears
streak down her face. "So you're leaving me."
He tips his head up and stares at the wallpaper, not daring to
look at his wife with how angry he is. "I'm sorry you don't like
how I'm handling this, Monica, but if I stay in this house I'm
likely to wring your neck. So, in the interest of your neck, my
sanity, and the chance that our marriage can be salvaged yet
AGAIN, I'm taking a break. We'll talk when you've taken
responsibility for what you've done, when you've made amends to
our kids, and when Emily has moved back home. Until then I'm
moving to the PC Hotel. Because, at least there, I have hope that
Emily and AJ will visit me. I won't see them at all if I stay
here." He turns door handle and swings the door open. "I love you,
Monica, but I can't live with you right now."
With a heavy heart and leaden feet, Monica plods up the stairs to
the second floor of the mansion. The day has defeated her. Shortly
after Alan's defection the whole house turned against her. The
story surrounding Emily's departure spread like wildfire through
the staff and predictably, the staff responded by giving her the
cold shoulder. Their only interest seemed to be ensuring Lila's
continued comfort.
What had begun in hope and a sense of righteousness had ended in
despair and condemnation. Her wish now is to retreat to her room
to lick her wounds. She can't stand one more dirty look from the
staff. But as Monica walks down the quiet hall, she finds herself
stopping in front of Emily's door. She puts her hand on it,
stroking the painted wood for a moment before deciding to cross
the threshold.
Squaring her shoulders to prepare herself, she opens the door to
Emily's bedroom. Nothing could have prepared her for what greets
her. The walls are bare-- posters and pictures and her bulletin
board have been removed. The curtains she and Emily picked out
when Emily first moved into the mansion have been replaced with
the standard Quartermaine issue. The bed is stripped of Emily's
comforter and pillows and in it's place is the Quartermaine guest
linens. The desk is empty: gone are all the papers, books,
artwork, photos, pens and pencils that made it Emily's. The
bottles and vials of makeup are gone from the dressing table. All
of her daughter's knickknacks, CDs, cassettes, books, stuffed
animals, dolls, clothes, throw rugs, EVERYTHING gone. It was as if
Emily never lived in this room. Not so much as a crumb or button
on the floor to prove Emily had been here the day before, or any
day for that matter.
The shock knocks the wind out of Monica. On unsteady legs Monica
walks the few feet to the bed and collapses. Never in her wildest
dreams would she have imagined her daughter would be gone so
completely. Tears burn the back of her eyes, surprising her with
their presence. With all that has happened today, she figured
she'd cried all the tears she was going to cry. But this.... this
was too much to bear. Her shoulders shaking with sobs, she lays
her head on the bed, covering her mouth with one hand while the
other strokes the bedspread.
Garbed in his dark blue silk robe and pajama bottoms, Stefan
slouches against the back of the one of the ornately carved
mahogany chairs. The fire in the fireplace flickers, giving the
room a light red tint. Stefan sits before it with his eyes closed,
one elbow is propped up on the armrest, holding his head up, while
his other hand covers the top of the low ball glass against his
thigh. He's exhausted.
After Carly left, he hadn't been able to concentrate on the
project he'd been working on. Perhaps that was a blessing since
his eyes burned like hell. Nothing like staring at the screen for
20 hours a day to make his eyes cross. He could barely read the
screen anyway.
So he sits her, alone, as Carly's bitter words ricocheted in his
mind, tormenting him.
He feels like he's bleeding to death from the inside out.
I was the woman who loved you, even though you couldn't love me
back, who thought if she loved you enough.....
You made me believe I was different.
Those earrings came from a man who could have loved me
Her flashing brown eyes, glistening with tears, haunt him. He'd
give just about anything to hold her right now, to take back his
cruel words, to admit they were a lie. To breathe in her scent, to
bury his fingers in her soft blonde hair. To lose himself, even
for just a moment.....
"Father."
Nikolas stands at the doorway, having come to Wyndemere on impulse
when he found himself at loose ends. Emily had called and they
mutually agreed that his presence at Carly's party would not be
welcome. "I heard about Grandmother."
Nikolas is half surprised to see his father here instead of holed
up in his study trying to defang Helena from his laptop. That's
where he's been almost since the time Nikolas returned from
Canada.
"Yes, " Stefan glances over his shoulder for a moment before
resuming his study of the fire. "It appears that Helena will be
confined to Shadybrooke Psychiatric Facility for the next few
days. I spoke with Kevin Collins a few hours ago, I recommended
the transfer."
"According to Emily, Luke baited her and she attacked him in open
court."
"Spencer could provoke Mother Theresa if so inclined. Helena would
be no challenge," Stefan quips with a laconic smile. "It rankles a
bit to feel gratitude for anything he does. But in this case, it's
a small price to pay."
"So this is all excellent news. Stavros is dead and Helena has
been neutralized." Nikolas moves into the room, notes the glass in
Stefan's hand and his morose demeanor. "So why aren't you
happier?"
"I am pleased," Stefan answers, forcing enthusiasm into his tone.
"95% of Helena's assets are out of her control and the rest will
soon follow. Perhaps we should drink to celebrate?"
Nikolas takes the chair across from him. "You look miserable."
Stefan waves him off. "I am merely fatigued. I have put in long
hours the last several days."
"You miss Carly."
"Nonsense. I tired of our relationship and I ended it. Now that
Evans and Helena have been neutralized, I'm free of all
obligations where she is concerned." Stefan lifts his glass as if
to drink from it, but instead scowls into the mixture of liquid
and ice then returns it to it's place against his thigh. This
morning was unpleasant enough, he had no wish to repeat it.
"Bull," Nikolas challenges. 'You're sitting here feeling sorry for
yourself because you broke off your relationship with Carly to
protect her from Helena. And I'm supposed to stand by and watch
you sacrifice your life for no good reason?! Helena is out of the
picture! There's no reason to keep up the charade. Fix it,
Father."
FIX IT?! Did Nikolas really think he wouldn't fix this if he
could? Helena wouldn't be in the hospital for long. Even if he
bribed a judge or psychologist to keep her committed, she would
find a way to slip through the security.
He'd explored the option extensively years ago and ruled it out as
a way to control her. Security in a psychiatric hospital was much
more lax than a prison. Certainly a little psychiatric hospital
such as Shadybrooke wouldn't succeed where Cassadine Island
security had failed.
Stefan rises from the chair in a sudden motion, propelled by
anger, frustration. He slams his glass on the endtable, sloshing
the liquid on the table. "You think neutralizing Helena is as easy
as removing her assets and putting her in a hospital? I did not
raise you to be this naive! Helena is even more lethal now that
she has nothing to lose! Now that Stavros has been taken from her
for good, she will strike at Luke Spencer in retaliation. She will
likely lash out at his family, of which Caroline is a part. When
Mother discovers I have seized her funds, she will target me for
revenge. Even if I went Caroline, which I will not, she would be
as much at risk from Helena as before, if not more so."
Nikolas's stomach tightens. "So it never ends then. You can't have
a relationship with anyone because Helena might use them as
leverage."
Stefan paces the study. "It will end when Helena is divested of
her funds and is held secure where she can't harm anyone. But that
will take months to accomplish." He places his hand in the pocket
of his robe, closing his fingers around the jewelry box that holds
Carly's earrings. "As for my relationship with Caroline, it has
come to it's inevitable conclusion. I never intended for my
liaison with her to last more than a few months." He looks away
from Nikolas and swallows the lump in his throat. It was better
this way, he reminds himself. Caroline and her son will be safe.
As safe as he could make them. "It has ended for the best, for
both of us."
He's done this before, he's loved a woman and been denied her. The
feeling should be familiar. So why does his gut twist whenever he
remembers how Caroline forced the earrings into his hand? Why does
it feel like the bottom fell out of everything when she walked out
for the last time?
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