Breaking Away Chapters 25 - 26     Chapter 25   The Hospital Chapel. Lucy sat in the front pew. It was absolutely quiet and still, and for once the stillness was calming. Her appointment was in half an hour. She'd cleared her calender at work, and was ready. Now it was time to have a chat. "Hey there Dom." She smiled. "You've got to be sick of the sound of my voice. I think we talk more now than when you were here. You know how important this is. How much I want this baby, right? I know you must have been pretty disappointed in me some of the time. But I think, if you can see me now, I think you'd be proud of me. I finally am." She touched her heart. "Sometimes I can still feel you here. Mostly when I'm with Serena. She's growing so much, so fast. She got the very best of you Dominique, your sweetness. And the very best of Scott, his strength. That's what I want for this baby. To be his or her very own little person, but to get Luke's streetsmarts, and my. . . . .well, I don't know what I want this baby to have of mine. Maybe the idea that you don't ever give up? That'll work. So wherever you are, whatever you're doing, just put in a good word for me will ya'?" She leaned back in the pew and closed her eyes. She knew the odds were not in her favor, with a history of miscarriages, her age, and the fact she was in her first tri-mester. But she had to be positive. Part of her wished that she'd asked Luke to come along, but that set a poor precedent, her running to him all the time for hand holding. "Lucy?" Kevin opened the doors of the chapel. When she jumped, he apologized. "I didn't mean to startle you. But Ellen said that you'd come in here and that you looked upset." "Kevin." She gulped. "How long were you standing there?" "I wasn't." He made his way between the pews. "Are you alright?" He took one of her hands. "I know you weren't feeling well the other night. Are you ill?" If she wasn't before she was now. Lucy thought. "I'm fine Kevin." Lucy couldn't look him in the eyes. "You can talk to me Lucy. Anything, just tell me." Kevin pleadedm his mind filled with every imaginable horror. If she was sick, she'd have his support 100%. She could read the sympathy and concern in his eyes. His big, beautiful brown eyes. The same eyes she'd been looking into the day she'd lost their baby. A deep fear closes around her heart, and she can feel unwilling tears leak from the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry. I- -I seem to cry a lot lately." Her voice was whisper soft. She couldn't do it again. Couldn't go through seeing that helplessness in the doctor's eyes when they couldn't find a heartbeat. That horrible empty feeling that permeated every single corner of her life. Going through boxes of baby clothes, packing them up to give away. Or worse yet, keep in the vain hopes that next time. . . . She could feel Kevin's arms close around her. No matter how hard she tried to hold herself stiff in his arms, she couldn't. There was too much comfort, too much kindness, and far too much love. "Tell me Lucy!" Kevin stroked her hair. "Kevin. Don't. We aren't together. You can't care for me. Just stop." Regaining her composure Lucy pushed away from him. "I'm sorry. I don't have any right to lay this at your feet." "Yes." Kevin took her chin in his hands and lifted her eyes to meet his. "I love you. That gives you the right to tell me anything. I'm not judging you Lucy, just say it. It can't be worse that what I'm thinking right now." She sighed. "Kevin. I'm two months pregnant." She blurted out, at his shocked expression she nodded. "Yes. I am. And now maybe you understand why there can't be anything between us. We've both moved on with our own lives. And right now my entire life is riding on this exam with Dr. Newman to tell me how my baby is doing." Kevin's jaw drops slightly, but quickly recovering, he exclaims. "Pregnant? Lucy! That's wonderful. I know how much being a mother means to you. You must be thrilled." "I am." Lucy replied, stunned. He seemed genuinely happy for her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I guess if I would have I could've saved you some trouble." "Lucy, you don't owe me an explanation." Kevin kept hold of her hand. "You're right, we both have our own lives, and I can't tell you how happy I am that you could confide this part of your life to me." He brushed away a stray lock of hair. "You've got a lot on your mind, I never intended to add to it, I'm sorry. What time is your appointment?" "Twenty minutes." "Is someone here with you?" He asked, silently cursing the father for not being with her. "Is Scott here?" "Why would Scott be?" Lucy paused. "Scott's not the father Kevin." "I'm sorry. It's none of my business." Kevin's brown eyes focused only on Lucy's worried face. "Would you like me to go with you to your appointment?" He asked. "Just as a friend, moral support you know?" "Kevin, I would appreciate that so much. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable. . . . . " She let her voice fade. "Lucy, long before we were lovers, we were friends. And to be honest that's one thing I've missed most, our friendship. You have always been a great friend to me no matter what the circumstances, like when Abby was born. Victor and I never could have gotten through this without you. Let me be your friend now." "Thank you." Lucy allowed him to pull her to her feet, and tuck her arm through his. She should have put up more of a protest, but the offer of his friendship was too tempting. **~**~**~** Jason's penthouse. Carly paused at the front door. "Is he home?" She asked Johnny. "Yeah, and he's in a foul mood Carly." He warned opening the door for her. "Jase?" "Carly!" Jason slammed down his phone. "Where have you been? Half the town's looking for you!" He crossed to her and frowned when she shied away. She couldn't let him touch her. She was too susceptible to his touch. She crossed to the french doors. "Jason I've been doing a lot of thinking. And I've decided that I can't be a part of your life any more." She took a slow deep breath and continued. "It's just not working. Neither one of us has a life. You never go out and do anything unless it's with Michael. I never see anyone but you and Michael. So It's just better that we don't see each other." "Carly, what in the hell are you talking about?" Jason asked. "We're a family." "Jason, I'm not talking about shutting you out of Michael's life, the arrangement we have now works for all of us. Michael's happy. I'm talking about you and me. We're not going anywhere. You've always been my friend, and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that. But you're not in love with me." She finally was able to say those words, despite the fact they were ripping her in half. "And I've been too selfish to see that with me hanging around your neck you're never gonna find the right woman for you." Jason crossed the room and took Carly by the arms. His grip wasn't painful, just strong. "Carly, have you been talking to Robin?" He asked. He could see the doubt and anguish on her face. The face she thought she could control. Carly shook off his touch. "It doesn't matter does it? The fact is, that we just can't go anywhere. So really I'm doing you a favor. Have Johnny pick up Michael tomorrow please. I don't want you in my home anymore. And I'll do the same for you." She walked to the door, taking a look around the penthouse. "I hope you know all I want is for you to be happy." As the door shut behind her, Jason sank down on the step and cringed. What the hell just happened? In the space of ten minutes Carly walked out of his life. It reminded him of the time he fell off his bike, he wasn't going that fast, but when he hit the road it was like a ton of bricks, and he'd scraped along the pavement. This was the same searing pain. At least that time he'd known what he did wrong, and afterward he never did it again. But Carly was no machine. She had feelings and no matter what anyone thought, she got them hurt very easily. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her feelings. She was a part of him. And had been for two years. And in the life of Jason Morgan, that was his whole life. The idea of life without Carly was inconcievable. Pool and beers at Jake's. Bike rides at night. She was the only woman he'd ever known that loved his bike as much as he did. She never cowered away at what he did for a living. She accepted it and trusted in him completely to keep her and Michael safe. He was never worried that she would turn him in, or turn against him. Cause time after time she stood up for him, When everyone else in town treated him like a brain dead basket case Carly laughed at him, and teased him, and taught him the little things he needed to know to live in society. He never examined their friendship closely before, because he never had to. It was on of those things that just 'was'. Carly was always there. If Carly was in over her head, she would either get help from him, or find her own way out. He didn't know the specifics of what changed everything in her mind. But what he did know was that she couldn't just END their friendship. Not when he'd built so much of his life on it. **~**~**~** Lucy clutched Kevin's hand as Dr. Newman began to glide the sensor over her belly. The seconds turned into hours as she waited. Kevin said nothing, just held her hand between his. "Well, well, well. Looky what we have here." Dr. Newman pointed on the monitor. "See that red blinking light? She held the sensor firmly, and the sounds of a fast tripping heart beat can be heard along with the blinking light on the monitor. "Someone's letting you know they're around." "His heartbeat?" Lucy gasped. She could feel her own heart flutter. "You've decided you want a boy?" Dr. Newman asked. "I don't know. It just feels right to be a boy." Lucy answered, here eyes fixed on the monitor as tears of joy, and relief mingle. "Well far be it from me to argue with a mother to be." Dr. Newman took a seat in a small chair. "But Lucy, there's something that I need to discuss with you." "I hate that tone of voice. Tell me what's wrong with my baby." Lucy stated flatly. "Nothing that I know." Dr. Newman's tone is serious. "But, because of you're over 35, I need to talk to you about amniocentesis. The older a mother is, the higher the risk of Down's Syndrome." She placed a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "I'm not saying that's what you're dealing with, I'm just saying that amniocentesis would tell you one way or another. It's also a way to test for spinobifida, anencephaly, and other rare metabolic diseases." Lucy bit her lip. "But there's a risk isn't there? With the amnio?" "Yes. That's why the choice is yours. There is about a 1% chance of infection of the fetus, injury to the fetus, and possibly misscarriage." Seeing the panic in Lucy's eyes she repeats. "I'm not borrowing trouble Lucy. Your pregnancy is progressing very well. I just want to make sure that you know it's an option." "How is the test done?" Lucy felt Kevin lay his hand on her shoulder and squeeze. "A needle is inserted into the uterus, and we take about 1cc of fluid for each week of gestation." Dr. Newman began to explain. "No." Lucy's head shook vehemently. "No. Unless you can tell me right here and now with absolute certainty that the results outweigh the risks I don't even want to think about it." Dr. Newman nodded. "I had to present the option." "I understand. But I want this baby more than I can tell you, and I will not do anything willingly to put him at risk." Lucy's words were firm. "And any of the problems that you mentioned, I'll deal with them if they occur." Kevin felt a deep surge of pride at her words. That was Lucy. Determined, protective, and stronger than steel. She'd face whatever life gave her head on, but wouldn't dwell on it till the time came. "The heartbeat sounds strong." He remarked. Gently nudging Dr. Newman. "Extremely strong, and growing just right." She looked at Lucy's chart. "You've got your pre-natal vitamins, and you're drinking enough milk?" "Yes. And I've been eating pretty well too. But I'm tired all the time." She yawned and illustrated her point. "Good. Sleep." Dr. Newman answered. "There's nothing wrong with putting your feet up at the office and grabbing a cat nap. How about morning sickness?" Lucy made a face. "Morning, noon, and night." The doctor made a note of that. "We can set you up with some B-6, it seems to help the symptoms some. And you're still on iron supplements for the anemia?" "Yup." Lucy could feel her heart rate return to normal. Her baby was fine. Her baby was fine. That would be her mantra. "Are you going to tell me to cut back on work?" "Looking for an excuse?" The doctor grinned. "There's no reason you can't work through this pregnancy so long you try and keep the stress to a reasonable level. Some excercise is good, walking, swimming will become your favorite sport later on because it's the only place you'll feel light as air. I think that's about it, make an appointment for two weeks, and call me if there's any problem, or question." Once Dr. Newman has left, Kevin tilted Lucy's face to his. "You are a very brave lady, Lucy." "I'm glad you were here Doc. I know it was a shock, but you came through for me with flying colors. Thank you." Kevin's gaze was unwavering. "Always Lucy. That's a promise. Ready to go home?" **~**~**~**         Chapter 26     The Brownstone. Carly touched the play button on her answering machine tentatively. After telling Jason good-bye she'd spent the afternoon with A.J at his new house going over business plans. She wanted to see something concrete before she took any money. Michael had played happily, totally unaware that his mother's heart was breaking. Now her machine revealed 10 messages. The first one began. "Carly? Look, I don't know what the problem is, but call me and we'll talk about it." She erased it and moved on to the next one. "Carly, come on. If you're mad, say so. You know this isn't going to work. You can't just avoid me." She gulped and played the next message. "Carly, pick up the damn phone! Look." Jason sighed. "Forget it. I'll talk to you Monday when *I* come to pick up Michael. Yes, me. Not Johnny, not anyone else." Carly slid down the wall onto the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest. It was for the best. They'd both get new lives. *~*Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. *~* She couldn't just keep waiting for something to happen to her. To turn into someone that he would love. Cause if it hadn't happened in the past two years. . .it wouldn't happen. Jason was always her friend, always looking after her, well it was her turn now. Now he would have a chance to be happy. *~*I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.*~* The Penthouse. Jason held the phone in his hand, and considered dialing again. But if she was home, she wasn't picking up. He'd let her have the weekend. He didn't want to crowd her. Besides, he needed some time himself. A chance to get the facts straight. He lifted the silver picture frame off his desk. It was taken at the petting zoo. Carly was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, and Michael was in the same outfit. Carly held her hand out to a beautiful horse and she'd fed him a carrot, whil Michael stroked his mane. There was nothing extraordinary about the picture, except for the tight feeling in his throat. *~*Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea. They're swept away and nothing is what is seems, the feeling of belonging to your dreams.*~* The Brownstone. Carly had turned off all the lights and sat quietly in the dark holding a wine glass. In her hand was a wood frame. It was a picture that Jason hated more than anything in the world.He said it looked fake, and posed. But no matter what she loved it. She'd taken it one day in the bike shop. He was seated on a classic edition, mint condition Harley in his leather jacket. To her it was pure Jason, strong, tough, sexy, and so much more than meets the eye. She opened the table drawer and slid the picture in face down. *~* And there are voices that want to be heard. So much to mention but you can't find the words. The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind. *~* **~**~**~**   A.J's House. "Okay, let's get down business." A.J smiled. "You've got the proposed budget?" "Right here." Carly waved her newly aquired day planner. "I talked with Amanda Barrington. I've worked up a tentative plan for a bridal shower for her daughter Mimsy." She rolled her eyes. "How do you rich people come UP with those stupid names?" "Mimsy is probably an old family name." A.J retorted turning on his computer. "The Barringtons are an old family, with old money even their stupid names are old." Carly presented him with an itemized list. "This is what she wants. Now I think I can get most of the decorations at cost, but the flowers are gonna bump up the estimate. She wants a specific type of orchid." "Hmmm. I'll call Grandmother. She knows the flower scene better than just about anyone." A.J mused. "As for the food, Cafe Matisse would be a nice choice. They're close enough to the Barrington house that set up and clean up would be a snap." A.J grinned as his son tugged on his pant leg, looking at him pleadingly. "Oh, you want up? C'mere big guy." He lifted Michael up high in the air, and settled him on his lap. "That's Mommy's big boy." Carly tickled his cheek. "Always in the middle of the action." She never would have guessed that working with A.J would be so easy. But from the moment she walked in the front door it was like she stepped into a different dimension. One where she could be completely relaxed. Michael and A.J got to spend their time together and she made phone calls, and made connections to help their fledgling business. "I bet that this is a try out. If Amanda likes the shower, she may hire us for the wedding." "And for the baby shower." A.J teased. "Then we might even get a contract for the kids first birthday, then Christmas, New Years, Anniversaries, if we're lucky we'll cater the funerals too." Carly swatted him with the back of her hand. "The only funeral I'm planning at the moment is YOURS." She paused to answer the phones. "Benson and Quartermaine Designs. This is Caroline, how may I help you?" Her voice was the perfect office voice, polite, professional, and entirely false. "Carly? I thought you'd be here." Jason's voice came through the lines. "Jason. Please don't call here again. You'll see Michael tomorrow." Carly hung up the phone. Seeing that she was pale, A.J frowned. "What's the problem between you and Jason?" "No problem A.J." Carly lied. She couldn't bring herself to say that there was nothing between them, and that there probably never would be. "Come on Carly. You used to tell me all your man troubles." A.J crooked a grin. "Yeah, but all that's in the past. Right now we've got a bridal shower to plan." "I have a question, why do women play stupid games at bridal showers?" A.J asked. "Pin the veil on the bride?" "Oh, those games are just to kill the time till the male stripper gets there." Carly answered matter-of-factly. **~*~**~*~**~*~**~*~** Greece. Laura shifted her bag on her shoulder and stared up at the window of her old room. It was so strange to be back. The compound was completely unchanged. It surprised her how easy it was to slip back into the sneaky mindset of her days there. She'd slipped in past the dogs on the beach. She'd brought them T-bone steaks and biscuits to keep them quiet as she went over the retaining wall. It was a lot harder now than when she was 20. She had nearly backed out of the trip at the last moment. At the airport she'd very nearly turned around and gone home. But she couldn't. She knew she couldn't ignore the past if she wanted to move on. It was a barrier to what she wanted. She slid into the house and up the back stairs. She could make the trip in her sleep, with her eyes closed. Eveything was the same. The house still smelled like lemons. She reached the top of the stairs and turned down the long, shadowy hall. Once at her room she's surprised at the ease of which she is able to turn the knob. The door wasn't locked. That was different. She couldn't remember a time before she married Stavros that the door wasn't locked. She'd felt like an animal. And from that moment on, she'd never looked at zoos the same way again. She supressed a shudder as memories flooded all her senses. Her fist night, she'd spent it on the floor alternately sobbing and screaming. Her screams bounced off the walls and echoed back as if mocking her pain. She'd screamed the entire night and into the next day until her voice gave out and her tears dried up. By the time the door opened she'd been in a rage. She nearly crushed the skull of the first guard that came through the door, using the one chair she had beaten him bloody, then raced down the narrow hall, only to come face to face with Stavros. She could feel his presence as he'd backed her down the hallway without laying a hand on her. Once he had seen what she'd done, he proceeded to give her the first in many lessons. The first lesson being "defy me and suffer". When she awoke, it was to an absolutely barren room, nothing but a mattress on the floor, and two days of her life gone. A young maid had tended to her wounds, murmuring over and over in Greek. "You must eat." When Laura shook her head, the maid's words grew softer in tone and stronger in meaning. "You will need your strength. Get strong, stay strong, and bide your time. They are not always watching." She ate after that. Everytime anyone set food in front of her she ate. And when she thought no one was watching, she attempted to escape. But she was to learn the hard way that they ALWAYS were watching. And the servents, though sympathetic, were frightened and offered only minimal help. She'd tried to escape until the day she was told Luke was dead. After that there was no point. She was not allowed out of her room. No one was allowed in. For weeks she didn't see or hear another living soul. She stopped trying to escape, and started trying to die. She grew listless, disinterested in food, or sleep. She would sit on the ledge of her window, wishing that she could tumble out onto the rocks below. And then Stavros came around again. With his gifts, and tantalizing offers of freedom. Not complete freedom, but the chance to see the island, to walk through a real garden, smell the flowers, feel the sunshine on her face. An opportunity to see the world one last time. She took it. The first outing was like being reborn. Flowers were in full bloom, and the hot Aegan sun beat down. She'd seen people for the first time in weeks. And when she was returned to her room, she had the hardest decision of her life to make. Was she going to live as fully as possible? Or was she going to slit her wrists with a jagged piece of metal she'd found in the garden? Death? Or life? Wouldn't it be better to die? She would be with Luke on the other side, and never have to suffer another moment. Or could she muster the kind of courage necessary to keep herself alive? Would Luke really want her to give up and slip away? Or stay and put up a fight for her soul? The Cassadines owned her body. They fed her body, and clothed her body, and beat her body and emprisoned her body. But did that mean they owned her soul? If she wanted to live she would have to seperate the two. And she did. Slowly, and surely she began to make a distinction between her body and her self. So when Stavros came to her with his Devil's bargain, the answer was an easy one. Yes. She would trade her body, in exchange for her soul. He could do what he wanted with her, as long as she was free to read, to write, to explore, and walk in the gardens. She could fill her mind with enough beauty and joy to fill in those few dark moments when he was in posession of her body. She sat on the window ledge. The choice was made and she lived with it. Lived was the operative word. She had lived. And now, in the present the HOW seems less important that the fact that she'd done it. The question now was could she move on? It was time to put away the fear. It would only hold her back and keep her tied to a place where she couldn't think about the future. **~*~**~*~**~*~** Luke's "Hey! What's a nice lady like you doing in a dump like this?" Luke purred as he leaned over the bar to leer at Renee. Renee gave a half smile. "I feel like a LOUSE." "C'mere and lemme feel you." Luke came out from behind the bar. "What's wrong?" "Lucy had her check up the other day. I didn't even think to ask her if she wanted me to go with her." "Damn! How's the baby?" Luke asked. He cursed hismelf. He was too caught up into his own world. What a lousy friend. He tugged Renee close and kissed her. "We're both louses." "She's okay." Renee nudged him with her hip. "Don't worry. Kevin was with her." Luke made a terrible face. "Oh good. The kid's not even born yet and has her own personal stalker." Renee shook her head. "Come on, Luke! Kevin's not a bad guy. A little on the pinhead side, but not a bad guy. And you're forgetting one little thing. She loves him." Luke ran his fingers over his head. "I know. Lucy's got a thing about strays." He studied Renee. "You have a problem with what Lucy and I did?" His question comes out of left field. Renee took a seat at the empty bar. "Luke, I'll be honest, I don't like what you do for kicks. And please don't tell me that you do it for the money, you do it for the thrill. And I don't really like the fact that your way of life could come through Lucy's front door and spray her with bullets. But from what Lucy's told me you've been in this business before, and the fact that you've survived to a ripe old age tells me that you're lucky, and that you have an idea of how to keep your family safe. Plus, you gave my cousin what she wants more than anything in the world. A child. So no, I don't have a problem with the fact that Lucy's carrying your baby." Lucky clenched the door tightly. Lucy was carrying his father's baby? "Dad?" Luke felt his gut clench. He knew that by pure karma his son had just overheard Renee's last sentence. God had a sick sense of humor. **~*~**~*~**~*~**~*~**