Breaking Away Chapters 23 - 24
Chapter 23 **~**~**~**
Port Charles Police Department.
V wove her way between the swinging gate wincing each time someone called out a loud greeting that riccocheted in her head cruelly. She was dressed in all black cause her head hurt too much to look at bright colors. She didn't remove her sunglasses as she approached Taggert where he stood in a huddle with Garcia and Mac. "Hey." She greeted them. "Marcus. You left your wallet in my apartment last night. I tried to catch you when you left, but you were gone so fast and I was so drunk I was moving slow." She handed him his wallet.
Mac and Garcia exchanged looks. "Marcus, if we could have a word with you?" Mac asked through gritted teeth. "V, wait right there." He dragged Taggert into the interrogation room and Garcia shut the door. "So Taggert. . . .have anything you wanna tell us about last night?" Mac crossed his arms over his chest. "Cause if I have to dust V for prints I will. . . . "
Taggert threw up his hands. "HOLD UP! I did NOT have sexual relations with THAT woman!" He proclaimed. "Tell him Alex. V was at Jake's last night too drunk to walk. I gave her a ride home."
"That's right boss." Alex frowned at his partner. "And your wallet?"
"Must have fallen out of my pocket. I laid her on the couch. . . ." When Mac and Garcia frown even more, Taggert rolls his eyes. "I PUT her on the couch, set out asprin and vitamins and a pitcher of water and LEFT. Come on! She's a kid! The two of you are dirty old men!" He grumbled pushing past Alex on his way out the door. Once there he could feel his face flush at everyone's stares. "Don't you people have work to do? Try and arrest someone!" He growled. He took V's arm. "You look like hell. You need food."
"Gee thanks Taggert. I'd LOVE to have lunch with you." V snapped as they walked through the station.
"Thanks for bringing my wallet." Taggert said as they moved through the line of his favorite healthfood deli.
"Thanks for not letting me fall on my face." V responded peering at the menu skeptically. "I don't think this place has hamburgers."
Taggert shook his head. "If you mention red meat in this place they throw you out." He informed her. "Besides, you don't need a hamburger. You need real food." Once at the front of the line Taggert orders for both of them. "Trust me."
They take seats by the window, and V eyes her salad warily. "What's in this?" She asked.
"Don't ask, just eat it." Taggert responded taking a bite out of his sandwhich. "I was surprised to see you at Jake's like that last night." He began. He didn't like her hanging out in that dive. "It's not the best place to be."
V sniffed the strange green dressing, shrugged her shoulders and took a bite. She chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. "This is pretty good." She remarked in surprise. "As for last night, it was the exception that proves to the rule. I can't drink."
"I'd say so." Taggert grinned remembering what a funny drunk she was.
"But one thing bugged me." She sipped her iced tea. "I didn't really notice it then, but did you call me by my full name last night?" She asked.
Damn. He'd been hoping she'd forgotten about that. "Actually. . . ."
"You did! You called me by my full name!" She instantly lowered her voice when her head started to throb. "I never told you my full name! Who told you? Was it Jax? Was it?" She stabbed her salad visciously.
"Blondie? Nahh. . . look, I admit it. When you first came to work for the PD we had a bet on who would be the first person to find out your full name." At her glower, he threw up his hands. "Hey! I didn't say it was right. . .anyway I called a friend of mine from Quantico and he knew you from when you were a kid."
"Roger. Roger Crampton." V seethed. "I never liked him. So everyone knows?"
"Nope. The pot wasn't big enough for me to spill what I know. . . .it gets bigger every month though, so in a couple of years you may have to worry." What he didn't tell her was that with a middle name like his, he had no intention of outing hers.
"My mother was an artist.." V nibbled on her salad as she explained. "She used to look at everything through rose colored glasses. Literally, she had pink tinted glasses. She said that it made the world around her look that much more beautiful." She smiled sadly. "Pop says that's where I get my disposition."
Finishing his silken tofu shake, Marcus asked. "And he was the cop right?"
"Forty years on the force." V answered proudly. "When Mom died, he decided to retire and sail." She dropped her napkin onto her plate. "That was good whatever it was." She told him. "I feel MUCH better now."
"Good. But please V. For the sake of my reputation. Don't go telling people that I left things at your house in the middle of the night when you were drunk. . . ." Taggert pleaded. "I don't want people to think I'm easy."
V considered his words for a moment then flushed to the roots of her hair. "That's not what I meant!"
"A man can't be too careful with his reputation." Taggert winked wickedly.
**~**~**~**
Laura's office.
She was going through case files finishing up notations from her early morning meetings when there came a knock at the door. "Come in."
"Hey there! Can you spare a few minutes?" Felicia poked her head in. "I've escaped my office and I'm playing hooky. I need a place to hide." She breezed in and sank onto the couch dramatically. "I love my husband, my daughter's and my husband's niece. But I couldn't take anymore!" Spotting the flowers on Laura's desk she admired them. "Daisies. They're beautiful!"
"They bring back a lot of memories." Laura replied, reaching a finger out to touch the petals of one flower.
"They're from Stefan?" Felicia asked quietly. She and Laura had spoken a little about the history between them. But she knew that it was not the easiest topic for Laura to discusss.
"Yes. And so were these." She indicated a small basket of blueberries on the windowsill. "I've really enjoyed these few days with Stefan." She said softly. "They've been like a romantic dream."
"But these gifts bother you." Felicia observed. She could tell by the far away look in Laura's eyes that she was someplace else.
"Honestly? Yes." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "They're from the island. And the other day, Stefan called me Lasha."
"That was Stavros' name for you?"
"Yes. I don't think Stefan understands. Yes, there were these brief wonderful moments there. But they were like bubbles. Beautiful, glistening, and fragile. And for every one nice moment there were hours of this pain and as hard as I try to put the pain in the past. . . . "
"Reminders of the good things bring it back."
"Exactly. They're linked forever in me. And part of the reason I divorced Luke was that I can't live in the past anymore. Not the past I had with Luke, and I certainly don't want to live in the past where I was Stavros Cassadine's prisoner."
"Have you told Stefan this? Because he doesn't seem like a cruel man Laura. I doubt he would send you things with the intention of bringing you pain."
"He just doesn't understand."
"Then you have to tell him Laura." Felicia advised. "You're hurting."
"You're right. Stefan's not unreasonable." She rose to her feet. "Actually, I think I'll go talk to him now. Our relationship exists here and now, not 18 years ago." She looked down at her friend. "I'm sorry, but I really don't think that I want to wait."
"Go ahead." Felicia urged. "Call me tomorrow and maybe we can arrange something for Georgie and Lu."
"I will."
**~**~**~**
The Brownstone.
Carly entered her bedroom carrying a bag of books. She and Michael had had a busy morning. First she had taken him with her to the bank, then the bookstore. It was official, she could get a small loan from the bank once she presented them with a business plan and signed on the dotted line. "Jason?" She called hearing the water running in the shower. She grinned remembering the night before. He was still sleeping when she and Michael went out. "How ya feelin'?" She asked hearing the water stop.
Jason opened the door with only a towel wrapped around his lean hips, his hair glistening with water, his expression pained. "How do you think I feel Carly?" He asked miserablely.
"No worse than you ought to!" Carly tossed back. "The next time you take off on that damn bike in the middle of a temper tantrum "Anger Boy" I will personally disassemble every piece of machinery you've GOT!" She rolled her eyes. "It was a stupid thing to do Jason."
Gripping the frame of the door tightly Jason turns an odd shade of green. "Yeah. I get it. I don't want to hear about it Carly."
"Then you shouldn't have BEGGED me to come to MY place to sleep it off!" She retorted.
"I wouldn't have . . . . " Realizing that was one place that he did NOT want to go, Jason shut his mouth and glared at her through bleary eyes.
"Sit down." She tugged him onto the bed. "You look like you're sicker than a dog."
Jason took a deep breath as memories from the night before flooded back. With amazing clarity he remembered every single word. Including thanking her for not having a boney butt. "Did I really threaten to kill Sonny?"
"Nahh. . . .not really." Carly's eyes twinkled with mischief. "You told him you were glad you didn't have to."
He hung his head. "I'm a jerk."
"Yes." Carly agreed patting him on the back. "You are. But at least you're a FUN drunk. Johnny's gonna be laughing for weeks off the material you gave him!"
Jason kept his blue eyes from focusing intently on her laughing face.This was the reason he was out of control last night. The raw surge of absolute jealousy coursed through his veins against every ideal he held about a person's freedom. After talking to Sonny he realized that there was one person he didn't want to be free. He didn't want Carly to be free with another man, and least of all Sonny. That was the bottom line."I acted like an ass. I'm sorry Carly."
Carly nudge him with her shoulder. "It's okay Jase. I just don't want you to up and disappear again. I've gotten used to having you around." She smiled. Everything was back to normal. Nothing changed. He still didn't see her. The jealousy was probably just a fluke. She plastered her grin on her face and got up from the bed. "So, how about some tea?" She wasn't about to ruin the best friendship of her life by pining after a man that didn't want her. Not anymore.
Jason caught a glimpse of pain in her soft brown eyes before her mask was completely in place. She was pretending with him. He hated it. He hated the fact that he'd hurt her again and didn't even know how. If she wouldn't tell him how, then he could do it over and over again. And the last thing he wanted was for her to be in pain. "I'll get dressed." He had to think before doing or saying anything more. Had to be sure that the next words out of his mouth didn't break her heart. No matter how she wrapped it, who she gave it to, or even what she said, her heart was as fragile as a prism he'd seen hanging from the window of a shop by a thin string. On the outside pretty on its own, but when light streamed through it lit up the room with rainbows. That was Carly.
"Okay." She left the room, closing th door behind her. She was so stupid. She swallowed fighting back a small sob. She had to accept that she was Jason's friend. That was all. She was so lucky to have him in her life. He was her absolute rock. And no matter what she did, Jason Morgan was right there. And she'd failed him. In a stupid moment she'd slept with his best friend. No wonder he could barely look at her. He was probably sick to his stomach. She disgusted him.
"Hey honey." Bobbie poked her head in the door. Seeing the look on Carly's face Bobbie raced to her daughter. "Carly? What is it? What's wrong?"
Carly caught Bobbie up in a strong embrace. "Mama." Then pulled away. It felt too good, it would be too easy to fall into her mother's arms and sob. But she couldn't. She brought it on herself and it was time to be strong. "Mama, I've got to get out of here okay?"
"Carly what's the matter?" Bobbie cupped Carly's face in her hands. She'd seen Carly angery, scared, sad, hurt, upset, but never withering away. Her daughter looked like a corpse. "Talk to me."
"I can't.- I just need to go out for a little while." Carly gulped glancing nervously at her bedroom door. "Just watch Michael. I promise Mama, I'm okay. I'll be fine. I just can't be here right now." She broke away from Bobbie's hold and raced out the door nearly knocking over Jerry in her haste. She couldn't face Jason again. Not when he hated her.
Just as the front door of the Brownstone opened, Jason opened the bedroom door, took one look at Bobbie, and moved for the door. "Where did she go?"
"Jason! What's wrong? What's wrong with Carly?" Bobbie asked catching his arm.
Jason ran down the hallway ignoring her and out the front door just in time to catch sight of a cab turning the corner. "DAMN!" He cursed loudly. He hurried back into the Brownstone.
"Wait just one minute Jason!" Bobbie ordered. "Whatever happened in that bedroom, and I am not so sure that I want to know the details, upset Carly enough to make her run out of here and leave her son. You'd better sit the hell down and tell me what's going on!" She snapped.
**~**~**~**
Lucy's.
Lucy awoke in the early afternoon to feel warm rays of sunlight cascading into the room. She snuggled into her pillows perfectly content where she lay. Then she spotted the music box perched on her nightstand. She lifted the lid and it began to play a piece of Bach that she'd always loved. Inside the box were several crisp white sheets of stationary. Curious she sat up and began to read them out loud.
"Lucy.
I awoke in the middle of the night, and for one fleeting moment I allowed myself to believe that the past year never happened. You were in my arms again, and I was watching you sleep. I listened to your breathing, and felt your arms curled around my waist. Have I ever told you how much I love the way you sleep? I do. It's one of the many things that I love about you. I am currently working on a list of the things I love about you, and the way you sleep has made the top 500."
Lucy smiled. Shameless flattery. She loved it.
"But then I remembered that this is your home and not ours. That I am no longer a part of your life. My heart aches Lucy. I've managed to cover it up by burying myself in work, and Abby, and Victor. But no matter what I do it's always with me. I miss you. And the hell of it is that I'm the one that shut you out of my life. I can't change what's in the past. If I could I never would have left that church on our wedding day. I would have cursed, and thrown things and fought, I never would have given up on the most important person in my world."
Lucy felt tears sting her eyes. And if she could change one thing she never would have lied to the most important person in her world. She would have had more faith in him, and his love.
"So I can't go back and hold you in my arms and tell you that I still love you, that nothing changes my love for you. Nothing shakes the foundation of our trust. What I can do, is try and build a new relationship with you. One where you can trust in me to never walk away again."
Lucy bit her lips as tears fell from her eyes. She wouldn't let him back in. Pretty words on paper. That's all. She reminded herself ruthlessly. She would get over him. All she had to do was keep him at a distance. She'd make herself forget him. It was either forget him or carry around the ache in her heart for the rest of her life.
"I know that it sounds well and good on paper. That you don't believe in me anymore. But I intend to show you Lucy. And prove to you that I can be the kind of man deserving of your love. A man with the courage to say "For better or for worse" and mean them. A man that loves you enough to appreciate all of your qualities not just the ones that suit me. And a man with a heart as generous as yours."
She couldn't read any further. She closed her eyes and let the tears trail down her face. He was so wrong. Why couldn't he see that he was everything she ever wanted? But she couldn't take the risk again. Not when there was a baby on the way. She had to stay strong. She brushed away her tears, and picked up the letter again.
"So there you have it. My confusing declaration of absolute love. Not ordinary love, absolute love. You're my closest friend, my greatest ally, the woman I admire more than anyone on the earth. The face that's most beautiful, the voice that's the most exciting, the mind that's most fascinating, and the heart that is the most divine. I love you and I will never give up again on the dream that we can be together, live together, fight together, and love together for the rest of our lives. "
"With all my heart,
Kevin."
Unable to control her sobs, Lucy clutched the letter to her chest and cried for every lost dream and every impossible fantasy.
**~**~**~**
"What is it Laura?" Stefan asked removing his glasses, and rising to his feet. "There's a problem, I can see it."
"Stefan, I really don't know how to say this." Laura began. She didn't want to hurt him, but there was no other way around it not this time. "It's about the flowers you sent." She fidgeted slightly. "I don't mean to appear ungrateful. . . "
"What was wrong with the daisies Laura?" Stefan asked sensing an underlying problem.
"I'll be blunt Stefan. I hate daisies. I have ever since the island, and I hate blueberries, and I hate this blue ribbon." She removed it from her purse. "I know that all these gifts were heartfelt on your part, and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. But these reminders of the island, and what happened between us before have got to stop. I can't bear it anymore Stefan." She sat heavily in a chair, her expression troubled.
"I thought that they would bring back pleasent memories of our time together." Stefan remarked stiffly, his pride wounded. "They do for me, if that is not the case for you then I will not trouble you with painful reminders."
Irked by his self-absorbtion Laura's eyes flashed. "Stefan, it is EASY for you to have fond reminisces from my time on the island. You could always leave." When he blanched, Laura felt herself begin to relent, but there were things that had to be said, and ignoring them would only make everything much worse. "Stefan, even though it's easy for us to sit here and now and remember our cove, and blue ribbons, and blueberries, and daisies, and frogs in Helena's bed, that's not a very accurate portrayal."
"We did what we had to do to survive Laura, there is no shame in that." Stefan replied.
"I know that. But you and I get so caught up in re-living those stolen moments of happiness that we forget what it was that we were trying to survive. Stefan, I was a prisoner. My husband, my mother, my friends all lost to me forever at the hands of Stavros. I was beaten, some nights I was raped." She continued. "And then out of nowhere, just when I was feeling my worst, just when I was ready to fling myself off a cliff, when the pain was too much for me to consider living for one moment more. . . .I came across a man in a wild garden." Her smile was shakey. "And you were, you were what I'd pray for each night. I would go to bed and ask God for one reason to live. Just one small, minor miracle, anything to give me the strength to take one more beating, endure Stavros' hands over me one more time. Some days the miracle was that there was a new place on the island. Someplace I hadn't seen before, so I would go exploring. Or one of the mares was expecting and I wanted to see the foal. And all of a sudden I had someone new to explore, someone who smiled at me. Do you know how long that had been? How starved I was?"
Stefan felt his throat clench. He'd known that starvation himself. A complete lack of affection from anyone around him. He'd known that kind of deprivation on the island, until Alexis arrived and he felt much the same as Laura. As if God had granted him a miracle. "I can imagine."
"But the more I grew to care for you, the more I began to hate you." Laura revealed shockingly.
Stefan was stunned. How could she have hated him? He'd done nothing but to try and ease her pain and lonliness. The betrayal of her words slice through his heart. "Why?"
"Because, there you were. Strong, and brillant, and everything I'd ever imagined for a savior, and you were Stavros' brother."
Stefan's voice was brittle "I never knew that you held my parentage against me Laura."
"It had nothing to do with geneology Stefan!" Laura protested. "It was the fact that you let them KEEP ME THERE!! I was falling in love with you and I was still trapped! You knew your mother beat me and you did nothing! You knew! YOU KNEW Stavros was in the suite above yours and that he was RAPING ME! And afterwards you would meet me in the gardens, and piece me back together again, and in the morning hand me back over to Stavros and Helena." Laura swipes at a tear impatiently.
"Do you think that it was easy Laura? Do you think that there were not nights when I longed to slip into your suite and slit my own brother's throat? My own brother Laura! And yes I'd known the monster Stavros had become, but my first loyalty was to him. I had no choice Laura! And I had no power to free you." At her skeptical expression Stefan slammed a fist down on his desk. "None. It is obvious that you do not believe me but I was every bit as much a prisoner as you on that God foresaken island. I had no influence, no allies, no money of my own, I needed permission to come and go." He rubbed his hands over his face. "And God help me, I loved Stavros. Despite his animalistic tendencies, despite his cruelties, and insanities he was my brother, and I was raised to hold that bond scared above all else." He seated himself across the room from Laura. "And even that, that conditioning, that loyalty, everything I had ever believed in during my life fell by the wayside when our son was born. I was going to commit fratricide, murder Stavros, and take his wife and our child. But you did save my conscience Laura. By leaving the island and never looking back, I was released from the need to murder my own brother. Perhaps I am supposed to thank you for your flight?"
"You told me to leave!" Laura argued hotly.
"And you vowed you would return. I was fool enough to have faith that you would place your son above Luke. Nikolas was to learn over and over and over again that is not so."
"How dare you?" Laura rose to her feet. "I did try to return for my son, only to be met by Helena. And what about after the coup Stefan? Nikolas was seven years old. We could have forged a relationship, Helena was powerless and tied to her bed. Why couldn't you bring me my son then? What stopped you? Did you hate me so much that you decided I deserved to live my life without my son?"
Stefan's answer is wholly unexpected, to both of them. "Yes."
Laura blanched. "Why?"
"Because you had a choice Laura. One of the choices that you so frequently claim not to have, and the choice you made was that Luke Spencer was more valuable than your son. It became clear to me that you were not the woman that I thought."
"What woman did you think I was Stefan? I'm curious as to what kind of woman you classified me as?"
"One with her own mind. One that if ever given the opportunity would have the strength, and the courage to fight the hounds of hell for her son. But I was mistaken. As soon as you saw your lover, you immediately forgot our SON!"
"As soon as I saw MY HUSBAND, and that's a lie!" Laura hissed. "A damn lie and a convenient one! If I had ever thought that I could count on you to put Nikolas first, to stand up to Helena, then Luke and I would have stormed the island and brought my son home. But you wouldn't stand up to Helena. And for the longest time I couldn't see why. But it was the title. Nikolas' crown meant more to you that him having a mother!"
"What home would you have taken our son to? What out of the way corner of the world? And to be raised by your husband?"
"NO! To be raised by his parents. I never would have let Luke kill you. You and I could have arranged something! Anything!"
"If you believe that I would allow your husband to raise my son in any capacity then you are truly delusional. You've demonstrated a complete unwillingness to control your husband. You've allowed him to attempt to frame Nikolas in order to deport him."
"So I had no chance of having Nikolas in my life?" Laura questioned. "None. Except for me to ignore my HUSBAND, to walk away from years of my life the first man I ever truly loved, and return to the island where I was a prisoner to be beaten, and raped at will? These were my choices?"
"Your choice was your son or that man. That was your choice you made it. And now for you to sit here and tell me that you had no choice. That is a common excuse for those that make the wrong decisions there were no choices." His face flushed. "I believed that we had moved beyond our past."
"I have Stefan!" Laura's voice rose. "I have moved beyond my past. I want to focus on my present. If you insist on dragging me back to that DAMNED island then there is nothing for us in the future. I will not be a captive to that island again. Not for nostalgia, and not even for love!" Seeing the fury in his eyes, Laura's chin rose. "You can keep your memories of the past Stefan. Hold them close, live on them, but I will NEVER be "Lasha" again." And with those words, she walked out of the study, and closed the door quietly.
**~**~**~**
Chapter 24
Luke's.
Lucy knocks once on the door to Luke's office before entering. "Hey pal o' mine!" Once inside the office, the first thing she spots is a half empty bottle of bourbon, and Luke lifting a glassful to his lips.
"Hey pretty lady! What's a nice girl like you doing in a dump like this?" He teased.
She leaned over the desk, promptly plucked the glass from his hand, and lifted the bottle away. "This has got to stop Luke." She sighed sinking onto the leather sofa and considering him. "I haven't said anything cause I know you're a big boy."
"And I appreciate your discretion darlin'." Luke answered in a low and dangerous growl.
"Oh save it." She advised tartly. "Luke, every time things go to hell you start drinking like a fish. More than usual. And ya know, if you were a 21 year old kid drinking at keggers I would worry, but not like this. It's like every time life doesn't go your way you go on this mission. A mission to totally self-descruct. You sit in the shadows and brood and drink and brood some more."
"Lucy, lay off all right. Darlin', I am glad I've got a guardian angel watching over me, but I am NOT one of your charity cases that you can tuck under your wing. You're right, I do brood. But you know what the brooding does? It gives me a clear picture of all the mistakes I've made. And once I can see them clearly I do my damnedest not to make the same ones twice."
"Bull." Lucy shrugged out of her coat. "You drink and you wallow in the way things used to be." She lifted the frame on the corner of his desk and looked at it. "A picture of you, Laura, Lucky and Lu. It's sweet, it's nice and it doesn't exist anymore. So you get drunk, and think that if you stare at this picture it'll all come back to you?"
"And what's wrong with that?" Luke snatched back the picture with force.
"What's wrong with that Luke is that it's over. The bourbon, and the pictures will not bring Laura back. " Lucy rose to her feet, came around the desk, perched on the edge right in front of Luke. "So now you've got two choices, and you'd better start thinking long and hard. You can either live in the past ALONE, cause Laura's moved on. Or you live in the present. The present's not as rosey as this picutre, but you've got a lot going for you if you'd just stop and look around."
"Like what?" God, he could never begin to tell Lucy how much he hated these chats with her. There were things he didn't talk about. Not ever. Not even with Barbara and she was his sister. But Lucy ignored all the warning signs and just plowed right through the 'No Tresspassing' signs.
"Lucky and Lu. Luke, those kids need you HERE and NOW. Lucky's a teenage boy. You remember what that's like? I don't know about boys, but when I was 16 it felt like I had the rug pulled out from under my feet on a daily basis. I know that you and Lucky have had problems, but they're getting better right?" At his nod, Lucy continued. "That's cause you're focused on HIM, not on yourself. And LuLu, well she's just an angel, but even little angels need to know that the are loved more than anything. Not to mention the most IMPORTANT person in your future. . . ME!" Her foot nudged him. "Come ON Spencer, you are the bestest pal any woman's ever known. What would I do without your undivided attention, sardonic wit, and unrelenting commentary on my life?"
"Run wild in the streets?" Luke suggested dryly.
"Well, I do that NOW, it's just that I need you as an alibi! Come on Luke! Look around you and see what's right with your life!" She begins to tick them off on her fingers. "You, Sonny and Jason get to play "Al Capone", me, the kids, the club is packed every night, you've got your health, well, as much helath as a man your age that chain smokes cigars, drinks heavily, eats an all grease diet, never excercises, CAN have. . . . " Her voice trailed off. . ."Where was I?"
"Okay! Okay! I surrender Polly Anna!" Luke waved his arms. "Please! If you break out into "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" I'm gonna CRY!" Putting his hands on her waist he eases her off his desk. "Please. Lucy. I will try and mend my wickedly brooding ways. Just NO MORE CHEERING ME UP!"
Lucy chuckled. "Well, now that you're back to your old, disagreeable self. I wanna talk to you about Renee." Her brow furrowed. "She won't tell me anything. But I know that her sudden desire to crawl under a rock and die has been inspired by you."
Luke winced as he eased out of his chair. "Lucy. I let you talk me into just about anything." Luke glanced at her belly. "I think you know that. But if you think I am going to discuss my sex life with you. . . . ." He taps a finger on the side of her head. "Then you didn't date that shrink long enough."
"Cute. Really cute." Lucy muttered. "Look Bub, the choice is this: you can either sit around and whine about what's wrong, or you could enjoy what's right. Past." She waved her hand towards the picture frame. "Or present." She shoved a slip of paper into his front shirt pocket. "And your present, and possiblely your future is leaving town in 3 hours on this train." Lucy stood on tiptoe, kissed his cheek. "Ta!"
**~**~**~**
Carly sat on a bench in the city park. She knew she had to go back to the Brownstone eventually. She had to face Jason. She could do it. No matter what happened between them Jason would never walk away from their friendship. She swiped at her tears. She was a big girl and running away had been stupid. She'd go back, and sit down and talk it out.
"What's the matter Carly?" Robin asked as she approached. The fountain. "Jason kick you out?"
"Robin. Are you stalking me?" Carly rubbed her temples. "Why don't you go away? I don't even have the energy to kick your teeth in."
Robin perched on the edge of the fountain and her face twisted into a mask of dislike. "Come on Carly. You can be honest with me! I'm the one person you can be honest with cause I just don't care. Go on. Tell me what you've done now to screw up your miserable life! Have you managed to digust Jason so much that he can't look at you?"
Carly felt Robin's words like a direct blow, but covered it with her own venom. "Look Robin you don't exist. Not to me, not to Jason, not to my son. You're nothing but a pinched face reminder of an ugly past. Jason never talks about you, did you know that? He never once says your name. It's like he never met you." Carly could feel her blood boil. This. This is what she wanted someone that she could make hurt as much as she was. Someone to tear down to where they were eye to eye. She knew it wouldn't change anything. But wiping the smug smirk off Robin's sanctimonious face would be a good start.
"Do you ever let him Carly?" Robin asked. "Do you ever stop waving your son in front of Jason's face long enough for him to miss me? You've deluded yourself into thinking that my being gone means that Jason will love you." She continued hatefully. "But it hasn't happened has it? Carly's poor little pathetic plan isn't working out the way you planned. I'm gone. There's nothing left of the love that Jason and I shared. Except for one thing. One thing that not even YOUR lies, and manipulations can take away."
"The odor of cheap perfume?" Carly asked bristling.
"No. The fact that because of me, Jason knows what love is. He knows how it feels, and what it means, and what people in love are to one another." She smiled. "I taught him that Carly. I was the first person that Jason Morgan EVER said he loved. And he told me he loved me all the time. Has he ever told you that Carly? Even in your wildest, most psychotic dreams has Jason told you that he loved you?"
Carly can barely keep herself from letting out a cry. As much as she hated Robin, she was right. Jason never once led her on. Never made her believe that she was more than an occassional good time, and Michael's mother who he tolerated. She would not let Robin know that she'd made a direct hit.She'd die first. "Is this what your life is now Robin? Skulking around on the fringes of Jason's life warning other people from caring about him? Are you so jealous that I have a place in his life while he doesn't even remember you?"
Robin's laughter is brittle. "Jealous? You think I want your place in Jason's life? What place do you have Carly? He doesn't love you, so you're not his wife. He doesn't want you, so you're not his lover. He can't trust you, so you're not even his friend. You're Michael's mother. That's all. And not even a very GOOD mother. Jason probably cares more about Leticia than you. It doesn't take much to have a baby Carly. Any animal can. But to be a mother? You have to be strong and always put the needs of your baby before anything or anyone else. You don't know how to do that. You do nothing but take, take, take. You did it to Jason, and one day you'll do it to Michael He would have been better off if he'd never been born!"
The only sound in the otherwise quiet park is the crack of Carly's open palm meeting the side of Robin's face. "Bitch." When Robin lifts her hand to her face, Carly moves to strike her again, when a strong hand catches her mid-slap.
"Come on now Luv. Don't hurt your hand." Jerry remarked softly. "Your mother is worried about you." He gave Robin and odd look. "This might be a graceful time to make your exit don't you think?" Once Robin left, he released a bristling Carly. "Ready to go back to the Brownstone?"
"Ohhhhh. I hate her. I hate her." Carly fumed. The anger was easier to deal with than the hurt.
"I understand. Her uncle has that same effect on me." Jerry confessed. "She comes by it honestly though. She comes from a long line of smug hypocrites." He cocked a grin. "Come on slugger."
"Why are you here?" Carly asked. She wasn't ready to go home, but she was too tired to put up an objection.
"Cause. Your mother's worried." Jerry replied. "I hate it when your mother worries. So when possible I take care of things for her." He gestured towards his car parked at the curb.
"That's pretty decent of you." Carly grudgingly admitted. She didn't really know Jerry, but she'd always thought he was a playboy that would break Bobbie's heart. "Mama needs someone to look out for her."
Jerry held open the door to the passenger side of his sleek Jaguar. "Everyone needs someone to look after them." Once she was inside he shut the door, and climbed into the driver's seat. Once behind the wheel and on the road, he reached into his pocket and withdrew his cell phone and dialed the Brownstone. "Bobbie? Yes. I've found her. She's fine. No, we're not coming back right away. Yes. Trust me." He made a kissing noise and hung up.
"Where are we going?" Carly asked as Jerry eased the powerful car out onto the road away from town.
"You don't seem like you want to go home. I thought of something you could do to occupy the time till you're ready." Jerry answered. "How do you feel about heights?"
**~**~**~**
Luke sat at his desk. The slip of paper with Renee's train number on it in one hand, the picture of him, Laura and the kids in the other hand.
Lucy had been right about one thing. Well, maybe more than one thing, but one thing specifically. He did like to live in the past. Things were simple then. He was the good guy. Laura was his angel. And when they'd said 'I do' all was right with the world.
But everything changed. And unfortunately the world wasn't waiting for him to catch up. Now he had a choice. The same one that dinasours had millions of years ago. Adapt to new times, or become extinct.
He lifted the slip fo paper and examined it. Renee was young, beautiful, brilliant, stubborn, and just being around her was a challenge. Ever since their night together, he'd been trying to figure out what made him behave like such a bastard. It was like he'd told Renee. He felt like a husband cheating on his wife. Instead of a man making love to a woman.
And that was the crux of the problem. No matter how he might feel he WASN'T a married man. He was very much single and free to do as he pleased. Now the question before him was what pleased him?
**~**~**~**
The Launch To Spoon Island.
Alexis climbed down the metal steps to the launch. "Mrs. Lansbury? What is it? I came as soon as I got your message."
The old housekeeper's face is lined with worry. "It is Stefan. I am afraid for him. I did not wish to alarm young Nikolas. You are the only one that I could call."
"What is wrong with Stefan. Tell me!" Alexis felt her heart clench
"He has turned mad like his father and grandfather before him." Mrs. Lansbury declared dramatically. "He was well until this afternoon. When Mrs. Spencer left, he lost his mind. Began to drink, and drink, and drink. He's broken all the glasses in the library, hurling them against the door. He curses his brother's name. I have only seen him like this one other time. The night that Stavros died. You could comfort him then. You must do it now." She implored. "He has ordered the staff to leave and not return until called for. I am afraid that he will do a terrible disservice to himself."
Alexis shuddered as she remembered the night Stavros died. "I'll go to him. Though I doubt he will be glad to see me." She answered, mostly to herself. She patted Mrs. Lansbury's arm. "Go on." She nodded to the launch captain at she climbed into the launch, waited for him to get out, and began to expertly pilot the boat out to Spoon Island.
**~**~**~**
Train Station.
Renee leaned up against the building with her duffel bag at her feet. It wasn't the fastest way to travel, but there was something utterly romantic about traveling by train.
She was sorry to leave Port Charles, and especially Lucy, but it was the best solution for everyone. With the situation as it was, if she stayed she'd be thrown into constant contact with Luke Spencer. And no one wanted that. It would have stressed out Lucy. Made her feel uncomfortable, and Luke more surly than usual.
All in all it was the best solution. She wasn't really made to put down roots. And judging from Luke's reaction to their lovemaking, he was too caught up in his past to consider the future.
*~* You and me we were the pretenders We let it all slip away In the end what you don't surrender Well the world just strips away*~*
The music was fairly loud even against the noise of the trains pulling in and out. Renee scanned the parking lot and shook her head when she spied the caddy. She should have known. Luke got out, and leaned against the driver's side door.
"Goin' somewhere?" Luke asked casually, trying to ignore the urge to ask her to stay.
"Nah. I just really like railroads." Renee grinned as she walked over to the pink caddy. "What brings you here?"
"I've always had this fantasy about a gang of female hobos . . . . " Luke began.
"What are you really doing here Spencer?" Renee sighed.
*~* Girl ain't no kindness in the face of strangers Ain't gonna find no miracles here Well you can wait on your blessings my darlin' But I got a deal for you right here*~*
"Stay." He said coaxingly. "Lucy needs you."
Renee studied him carefully. There was something different about him. "Lucy's a big girl, she can look out for herself." She answered stubbornly.
*~*I ain't lookin' for prayers or pity I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch I just want someone to talk to And a little of that human touch Just a little of that human touch*~*
"What if I asked you to stay?" Luke's eys bored into Renee's.
"Why would you want to do that Luke? You're still a married man, not by law, by choice." She sighed. "I'm not qualified to be the piece on the side."
With a wicked leer, Luke waggled his eyebrows. "You're more than qualified. If that's what I wanted. It's not. I'll be honest with you. I don't know what I want. But whatever it is I think I'm starting to realize that I can't get it in the past."
*~*Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town Ain't no bread from heavenly skies Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood It's just you and me tonight*~*
"One night doesn't a fairy tale make." Renee pointed out pragmatically. She'd be a fool to stay here based on her feelings for a man she barely knew. What kind of woman risked everything based on a gut feeling?
"Babe, I am too damn old for fairy tales." Luke rubbed his hand over his head. "I know that right now, there are few things that make me happy. I can't explain it, but you're one of them. I don't want you blowing out of my life the same way you blew in." He reached onto the backseat of the caddy and withdrew a giant sunflower. Extending it to her, he held his breath. It hadn't hit him until just this moment how much he needed her to stay.
*~* Tell me in a world without pity Do you think what I'm askin's too much? I just want something to hold on to And a little of that human touch Just a little of that human touch*~*
Renee took the flower, and for the first time in ages was at a loss for words. What kind of woman would stay? One that didn't mind risking everything on a hunch. One that lived for the moment, and walked on a high wire. She shook her head, turned and walked towards the depot again.
*~* Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize Well it comes with a hard hard price You can't shut off the risk and the pain Without losin' the love that remains We're all riders on this train*~*
She reached where her duffel bag lay on the platform just as her train rolled to a stop. Hefting her bag on her good shoulder, she gave one glance at the conductor, and turned to walk back towards Luke. Simpson kids never took the easy road. And if there was one thing she could be certain of. . . . Luke Spencer would never be easy.
*~*So you been broken and you been hurt Show me somebody who ain't Yeah I know I ain't nobody's bargain But hell a little touchup And a little paint. . .*~*
Luke's face split into a huge smile. Once she reached him, he took her duffel bag, tossed it in the back seat of the car, and reached out a hand to her. "Need a lift?"
Renee's fingers brushed over the side of his face. "Only if you promise to run out of gas." She teased lightly.
"Oh darlin'. You can count on it." Luke sighed. "There are advantages to a car this big. . . .it's always running out of gas on deserted roads." He opened the door and helped her slide over to the passenger's seat. But not too far over.
*~*You might need somethin' to hold on to When all the answers they don't amount to much Somebody that you can just talk to And a little of that human touch*~*
"C'mere." Renee cupped the back of his head, and brought his lips to meet hers in a slow, perfect kiss. Difficult or not, his kisses made her toes curl. And she could see the similar effects on him.
Luke started the engine, pulled her across the seat to fit perfectly against his side, and wheeled the huge car out of the parking lot.
*~*Baby in a world without pity Do you think what I'm askin's too much?
I just want to feel you in my arm And share a little of that human touch. . .*~*
**~**~**~**
Jerry's private plane.
"This is great." Carly enthused. "I've never been in a small plane like this."
"Pull back on the throttle a little." Jerry advised. "So, you wanna talk about it?"
"With you?" Carly focused on the instrument panel.
"Sure, why not? I'm an impartial observer." Jerry offered. "It'd be like confession."
"You don't look like any priest that I've ever known." Carly answered.
"Come on Caroline. It's not like I'm gonna run out and tell anyone." Jerry flashed a grin.
There was something in his voice. Something that made Carly spill it all from beginning to end in a rush. Once she was done, Jerry was silent. "Got any words of wisdom?" She asked taking a deep breath.
"You're in a corner." Jerry observed. "And you and Morgan aren't going anywhere except round in circles."
"I'm a pretty huge screw up." Carly adds. "I just never thought that I was screwing up Jason's life too."
Jerry nodded. "What do you think your options are?"
"There aren't any. I'm going to leave Jason the hell alone and let him have his own life. It's the least I can do for him."
"What about what Morgan wants? He seemed pretty upset when you took off."
"Of course he was. I'm Michael's mother, he doesn't want anything to happen to me."
Jerry doubted that. The look on Morgan's face had nothing to do with the kid, and everything to do with Carly. He gave a silent prayer of thanks that he and Bobbie weren't kids anymore.
**~**~**~**
Wyndemere.
Alexis opened the door to Stefan's study. Her feet crunched on broken glass as opera music blared. It was from Madame Butterfly. Stavros' favorite work. The heavy curtains were drawn tightly, allowing no light to pass through. Stefan's normally tidy desk was swept clean, his things all over the floor, except for two bottles of vodka and a set of vodka glasses. In the darkly lit room her eyes could make out Stefan slumped in his chair, finishing another shot of vodka.
"Stefan?"
Stefan's head whipped up, and he was brought back to reality. "Natasha!" He greeted her loudly. "Have you come to finish me? Please make it a swift death."
The first thing Alexis did was move to the stereo and turn off the music. "You hate that score. And you're not particularly fond of that brand of vodka. These were Stavros' favorite things." She reminded him.
"Yes! Throw in the abduction and rape of an innocent girl, and viola! I've become my brother. It took so little to turn me into him." Stefan's tone was bitter.
Alexis approached his desk, and began to clear away bottles. "Stefan, what is wrong? What happened between you and Laura?"
"You got your wish Natasha, my dear sister. You wanted me away from Laura, well you cannot get further apart than the two of us. Are you happy? Is this what you wanted?"
Alexis didn't even flinch as his vodka glass wizzed past her head, and splintered against the door. "For you to be drunk and inconsolable? No. What's seperating you and Laura now? She's divorced, she's a free woman."
"That is precisely it. She's now a free woman. The great love I foolishly allowed myself to fantasize about for so many years was nothing but a lie." He stumbled to his feet. "Don't you understand? It was nothing. Nothing but a dream that turned into a nightmare for everyone that it touched."
Alexis caught his arm as he staggered past. "Stefan. . . . . "
"She was a prison of war, and I took advantage of her. Used her for my own selfishness, if I had been half the man I'd thought to be. . . . a man above the rest of my family I would have protected her. Instead I used her vulnerability to satisfy my own pathetic need for attention, for affection. And now, I brought our son here, dangled him just out of reach knowing full well that Laura would succumb. That she would be unable to resist the chance to build a real relationship between herself and Nikolas." He sank onto the couch. "I used my son. Then, when she refused to return my attention I banished her without a thought. I sent her into exile by threatening to destroy her marriage." He ran an unsteady hand over his face. "I am no better than my brother."
"Stefan! STOP!" Alexis ordered, her heart aching for him. She came to kneel before him. "NO! No matter what Laura said to you, no matter what you think right now in the midst of this drunken stupor, you are NOT Stavros. He was sick, and sadistic. He was given love from the moment he was born and he turned it all into something dark, something twisted, and without heart or soul. You were given nothing and left to find love where you could Stefan. There is no shame in loving." She held his hands in her own.
"I love her, and she cannot stand the sight of me. There are too many painful memories Alexis. They overpower the good." Stefan's head dropped forward and rested against Alexis'.
"She told you that?" Alexis asked.
"She said that she wouldn't be dragged back to the island for anything, not even love. And if I continued to live in the past, we would have no future."
"Stefan. That's not a rejection," Alexis caressed his face. "That's a declaration of love. And her way of telling you that you don't need to live in the past which is painful for both of you. You have a present to focus on. One where Nikolas knows his mother and his father. One where she is not longer a married woman. A present where no one is a prisoner."
"You weren't here Alexis. The things we said can never be taken back."
Alexis nodded. "Probably not, when you fight you hit below the belt. It's the Cassadine in you. And I can't imagine that Laura was pulling any punches either. But Stefan, ever since you and Nikolas arrived here your past with Laura has been like the proverbial white elephant in the living room. You both acted as if you both ignored it, it didn't exist. Now everything has been said. It's all out in the open, and it's your turn to decide what to do. If Laura's moved on from her past, then you have no choice." She felt tears slip out the corners of her eyes. He couldn't cry so she would cry for him. "Let it go Stefan. All the past is gone. Let it stay dead and buried. You can't change it, and you can't re-write it. It won't bring Laura back to you."
"Nothing will." Stefan stated flatly. "I will not hold Laura prisoner again."
**~**~**~**
Laura's.
She wiped her eyes again. Talking to Lesley had helped, but it didn't excorcise the demons. Only one thing would. She picked up her phone and dialed. "Hello? I'd like to make a reservation. Destination?" She twirled the phone chord around her finger. "Greece."
**~**~**~**
